bachelorette | let go

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'I can't let go..'



M A R G A U X
(NAIA Terminal 2 ; Pasay City, Manila, PH)


     I'm not surprised at the fact that my siblings made me go back to my country. But, I cannot deal with a lot of people due to the fact that my siblings were celebrities + Adam's the only guy with me. I wasn't sure if it was his first time going into the country where I grew up and trained to be a professional wrestler.


    I'm not surprised at the weather, but damn it, it's 31 degrees outside. I'm always aware at the fact that people won't recognize me, because, they're not familiar with wrestling. Well, maybe they only watch WWE. I don't care. "So, do you have wifi? Now?" Was the first thing that I've heard from Adam when we gathered our suitcases. Indeed, I have a connection but I only have 2 hours to use it.


     "You know what's good? I'm gonna go get an uber." I said. Although I'm upset-slash-disappointed about what happened a week ago, I knew personally that I had to control my temper while I'm at Manila with him. Because, I don't want to be loner... sometimes. But anyways, that's not the point of going here right?


He followed me out of the lobby of airport, meanwhile I was looking at my screen until I found an uber nearby. I'm happy at the fact that the driver was few kilometres away from the airport. So, we waited for few minutes. "What are we gonna do today?" Adam asked, breaking the silence between the two of us.


     "Well, I guess I'm gonna practice to forget every bullshit and go to a mall before sunset." I shrugged. He gave me the 'come on, you're joking right' face. "Look, I didn't take the Corona Crash seriously when you told me to do that to Leon and I botched it. That's not it, my siblings forced me to come here just to plan for my brother's wedding."


     "Amour, look, we're both stressed about the work and problem, but, we're also here because it's our week off." There's nothing worse than being reassured by him. He was the only one who can call me Amour. He was the only reason why I wanted to live by myself. "We're gonna have fun, right?"


"I don't need any pep talk from you or from someone," I told him before looking down at the floor. "I wasn't looking for somebody to make me happy. All I want to do is to end this shit and that's all. I'm not expecting for something more than to finish everything." I'm not lying, I don't need someone to motivate me and do things to make me feel so happy.


"All I wanted you to do is to smile.. for once," my head snapped up at him as I heard him sigh. "For me. But, if that's too much for me to ask, I guess you're not gonna accept my request." That's when I tried to speak, but, something ruined the moment. My phone ringing.


***


For some odd reasons, the ride on the way to a hotel was quiet. Thankfully, the driver killed the quiet atmosphere by asking me questions, "Mag-asawa po ba kayo? (Are you two married?)" when he asked that question, I chuckled and shook my head.


"Hindi po (we're not)," I replied with a smile. "Iba po yung gusto niya pag dating sa babae. (He has a different type when it comes to  girls.) Maganda, yung tipong maganda yung katawan, ewan ko po (beautiful, girls with perfect body, I don't know)." I shrugged my shoulders as I saw the red light appear from the stop light as the driver stepped on the brake.

     "Meron po akong anak, nanunuod siya ng mga videos from independent wrestling, sinubaybayan po niya kayo since nung nalaman niya na merong Filipina wrestler. Tapos, nakita niya kayo at nung lalaki sa likod na magkasama kayo. (I have a son, watching him videos from independent wrestling, He watched you since when he learned that there Filipina wrestler. Then, when he saw you and that man at the backseat together.)" as much as I don't want to talk about Adam while he's around, I feel like maybe the driver was a good person. "Pero, kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, kailangan mo ng bumitaw. (But, don't love someone, you need to let go.)"


     He was right, but there's one thing that I tried to do but failed, here's the reason why: I can't let go of him.

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