Dear Jessie

Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

         Things got really bad today. Sometimes I just want to scream out to the world. I want to make them understand that I'm not perfect, not by a long shot. My parents don't want to see the real me, so they don't, and it kills me.

I wish I could be like Kristen, so much. She isn't scared to be herself, or to speak her mind. She's so beautiful and amazing, yet she can't see it for herself. She always compares herself to me, and I want to shake her until she opens her eyes.

Kristen is my best friend, and we tell each other everything. But I can't tell her about this, about me. Sometimes I want to, but everything would change, and so I can't. She's my hero and she doesn't even know it.

Sometimes we fight, but I love her more than anything in this world, and I would kill for her. She is so talented, and that's one of the reasons why I stand up for her to Mom and Dad. I don't think they've even been to one ballet recital of hers. I'm at every one, supporting her, cheering for her. She's so amazing at it, and she doesn't do it because They want her to. She does it because SHE wants to. I envy her for that.

No one can know ANYTHING about me, about it. They don't suspect anything though; I'm still the nice girl everyone loves...

Love,

Jessie

****

Dear Diary,

          I did something so unlike me tonight, and I kind of liked it. I snuck out of the house and went to a party, in the next town over. The girls I met at the coffee shop invited me to go, and so I went. What the hell? Why not live a little, huh?

I climbed down the tree outside my window, and no one caught me. I took the bus and went to Brittany's, one of the coffee shop girls, where they took one look at me and said I HAD to change. I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, with my hair pulled back into a high pony.

They got to play Barbie with me, and I think they liked doing it too. I ended up in a strapless black mini, with bright red heels and a belt to match. They curled my hair and let it fall loosely down my shoulders. They made my makeup dark, but not too dark; it all went really well together. I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror, looking back at me; she looked sexy.

When we got to the party, it was already in full swing. The music vibrated the entire house. It reeked of beer, weed, and sweat. The girls introduced me around, but I couldn't remember hardly anyone's names.

A few guys drunk guys started hitting on me, offering me beer, but I refused them. I don't drink, and I sure as heck wasn't going to start then.

Sometime during the night, I lost the girls to the crowd. I was standing against a wall when I first saw him, across the room. He was gorgeous; he had brown hair, green eyes, and a killer body. The tight black V-neck shirt he was wearing showed off his amazing abs, and his jeans hugged him in all the right places.

Our eyes met, and I felt myself swoon. I smiled at him and quickly looked away, not wanting to seem creepy. Before I knew it, he was standing right in front of me. He asked if I wanted to dance, and I let him lead me out onto the "dance floor". He turned me around, pulled me closer to him, and started to grind along to the music.

I could feel him against me as things got more intense. Instead of creaping me out, I liked it, in a weird way. Two songs passed before we stopped. When the last song was over, he grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.

It was a cool night, but it didn't require a jacket, something I barely registered before his lips were on mine. He nibbled on my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I gave him. Somehow, we ended up on the side of the house, the wall giving me support. He kissed down my neck, while running his hands down my body.

I had fistfuls of his hair between my fingers, yanking gently. He seemed to like it, seeing as how he didn't ask me to stop. His hands came to a stop near the inside of my thighs. It was then that I pushed him away, mumbled sorry, and ran off down the street. I'd never felt so...dirty in my entire life.

When I got home, I buried the dress at the very back of my closet, where no one will be able to find it. This night will never be spoken of again. The scariest part of the entire night? I actually enjoyed myself with him...I'm such a freaking slut!

Jessie

****

A/N

How did you guys like this chapter, in Jessie's point of veiw? I think I'm going to keep it like this. Doing it a few chapters in Kristen's, and one in Jessie's. Whatcha think about that?

Anyway. Remember- Like, Vote, Comment, Fan, && Share! ;)

P.S. -Sorry it;s been FOREVER since I've uploaded. Work has been Uber crazy; they work me ALL the time. That place will be the death of me. And my mom died on SuperBowl Sunday, so it's been rough here lately. Plus school, and preparing for college, it's been stressful. And writers block on top of all of it? BUT I got inspired tonight, and WAHLA! Here it is...I'm gonna shut up now...

P.P.S- I think the video ties into all of it. It's kind of what Jessie wants to tell her parents, or what she's telling them in her head.

Until Next Time!

XOXO

-DaniNicole;)