P.O.V. ROXXXY
At first, I could resist it. I could resist the temptation of the bottom for a couple of weeks. I even won the first challenge. It all went downhill from there. By the third week I couldn't resist anymore and forced myself to "slip up". I didn't care if I could go home. The feeling, it was euphoric and I'd never felt anything like it. Back in season 5 the bottom was the one thing other than Jinkx Monsoon I couldn't stand. What happened? Each and every week I kept going back there, to experience it again and again. Nobody understood what I felt being there. Some of them wanted to send me home, some of them were in my group of friends and couldn't bring themselves to do it, and some just really didn't like Phi Phi so they sent her home instead. Being in the bottom is addictive, it's perfect. You can't imagine what it feels like unless you've been there, and you still wouldn't feel the same shot of adrenaline you get when someone else's name is pulled out of a queen's bra. Being there makes me think the unthinkable, and if I'm that excited, I might do those things. It made me do things I couldn't do - it was empowering, invigorating, exhilarating. It made me feel bad, and the guilt got me hot. I loved it, and hated it all at the same time. I was sad, I was hyper, I felt everything and I felt nothing.
...Now that All Stars was over, what would I do to fuel my addiction?
