"Please let me know," he said. In his begging voice, he told me. I stoped but I can't face him. He tried to hold me but I pulled my hand away from him.
"I know this is not right, but I've given you a promise. Will you accept my apology?," he said.
But still, I didn't answer. I felt guilty. I tried to take those words back because it really hurts me.... deep into my bones.
"oh please can answer me even a word? I can't stand it seeing you suffering like that. Face me and let me wipe those tears. Trix, I'm so sorry."
I don't know what to say but the only thing i said was....
"THANK YOU"............................................ what a stupid answer but at least it was two words.
I'm here again..... ALONE.. Those memories and conversations were flashing back everytime I felt sad. those conversations that I don't know came nowhere. It just flashes out of my mind. I started wondering about this after our break up of my ex-boyfriend. Well, on first thought, it could be our conversation.
I don't know what to think but when I remember this, I often cries, I mean ALWAYS. It's still not clear to my mind what happened that day.
Ang drama ko pero di ko pa naipapakilala ang sarili ko. I'm Trixie dela Vega. 14 pa lang ako pero umeepal na ang lovelife ko sa listahan ng mga brokenhearteds or specifically TANGA. Isa lang naman akong simpleng babae na walang ka-amor-amor sa buhay. Ni di ko nga dati naisip na magkakanubyo pa ko. Parang wala kasi akong pakialam sa life ko dati. Wala rin akong hilig sumuot ng super bonggang damit. Simpleng jeans at shirt lang. As in yung parang pang-probinsyana ang dating. Mahirap lang rin kami. Ako ang panganay saming apat na magkakapatid. Sa edad kong to, naisip ko nang maghanap ng trabaho. Sa laki ba naman ng problema namin sa pera, sino pa kayang anak ang di makakatiis na tulungan ang mudra at pudra ko.
Hanggang isang araw, may lalaking kumulit sakin. Eh sa wala akong pakialam, ayun, talagang nagkalokoloko na sa mga pinanggagawa niya para mapansin ko. hahahahaa Kahit gwapo pa yun, wala pa rin akong interes. Who cares? Di pa rin naman kami bagay so wala talaga akong balak nun na buksan ang puso ko. Akala ko nga nun, talagang matutuloy yung balak kong mag-madre na lang. Pero makulit talaga ehh... Hanggang dumating na rin ang araw na nahulog na ko sa kanya. Tumagal lang naman kami ng 2years. first love at first boyfriend ko kaya hindi ko mapakawalan.
At tulad nga ng sabi ng karamihan, lahat ng bagay may katapusan. I need to accept it but it really didn't work. Baliw pa rin ako sa kanya. Pero ang mas weird, wala akong matandaan sa araw na nagbreak kami. Only his voice nand this short conversation.
It was December 3, 2011. it has been one year after that heartbreaking rumors happened. I know it takes me so long to move on. Actually, I still can't do it until now. But can anybody tell me who could help me? Well, as what they said, "I'VE GONE MAD THINKING OF HIM".
"Trix, there you go again with your illusions.... ""oh I mean YOUR MOMENT THAT NEVER DIES.. In this hour, your brain's flying, you know? Didn't you think to stop travelling? "
oh, I almost jump then fall when this girl called me. This girl who always ruins my moments. Because of her I can't do what I want. But also because of her why I'm still here, alive na alive to the highest level even if I'm often TULALAAAAaaaaa of thinking this bad guy of my life.
"Why? What's wrong? you're ruining my day you know?"
"Well, I don't care. Hindi lang talaga bagay sa'yo ang maging problemdo o magmoment nang ganyan kabongga"
"Girl, just let me. Masanay ka na kasi sakin. Alam mo naman ang story ko di ba?"
Pag may kausap ako, hindi pala ako masyadong nag-iinles.. baduy daw kasi sakin ehh.. hahahha
