How I Let Go (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Two: I Don't Care

Lily had her arms wrapped around me tight. Her soft hands were massaging my shoulders, slowly kneading away the rough areas. I grabbed one of her hands and kissed the top of it, noticing how light her tan skin was due to the winter.

"Promise you'll never let me go?" I asked as I gazed up at her.

Her dark brown hair was crazy as usual. Long, wavy locks surrounded her face and when I ran my fingers through her hair they got lost in the messiness. I stared into her dark brown eyes and saw myself in them. Light brown hair and pale skin stared back at me; my freckles in her eyes looked like stars twinkling in the night sky. I was nothing in comparison to the beauty in front of me.

She carefully placed one finger underneath my chin and brought my face to hers.

"I promise." She whispered, as we both closed our eyes and leaned forward to feel the sparks our lips made when they touched.

"Hey! Hey!" A voice called out in the distance.

A hand violently shook my shoulder.

"What the fuck?" I snapped to the owner of the hand, realizing too late who it belonged to.

"God, sorry I was just trying to help." Emma whispered. "Mrs. Rolles was starting to get suspicious."

She turned back to face the front, eyebrows furrowed but this time with anger.

Well, I thought, there goes the promise I made. Maybe I'll stick to it tomorrow.
I decided not to try to apologize or explain myself to her. I was done developing crushes on every single attractive girl I came across. My gaydar was seriously out of whack. Every girl I thought had even an ounce of gay in them turned out to be straight. This whole cycle of hoping and being disappointed was really wearing me out. I decided to spare myself some regret and time and not try to seek her approval or attention. I didn't give a damn anymore.

We didn't talk for the rest of the class period. Not like I cared or anything. The rest of the morning classes were a blur, and I didn't really start to wake up until I got to lunch. I grabbed a ham sandwich and chocolate pudding and sat at my usual lunch table.

"I swear my mom is giving me crappy lunches she know I won't eat. I think she's been trying to get me to lose weight."
My friend Abby whined.

"Here's an idea, why don't you make your own lunch?" I replied as I stole some of her baked potato chips.

"Funny how you're the one to talk. You eat school lunch everyday." She piped back.

I nodded my head in defeat. She had a point.

"So," said Shay who was sitting across from me. "I've been talking you up to Greg's friend Michael and he totally agreed to do a double date with us!"

I stared lazily at my half eaten pudding.

"Taylor? Did you hear what I said?" She asked while kicking my feet.

"Well as tempting as that sounds," I joked, "you know I don't want to be in a relationship."

"Cmon you've been saying that for as long as I've known you! Don't you at least want to hoe it up with some guys? We don't judge."

I looked around to the nodding faces that filled the lunch table. My fists were clenched, my heart racing.

"For the last time, no. Stop trying to set me up with guys. I'm done with it." I snapped back.

"What are you? A lesbian or something?" Abby said sarcastically. A few of the girls giggled.

"Fuck you."

I walked out of the lunchroom and headed to my locker to put the remains of my lunch away. As I crouched behind the locker door, I saw Emma and a girl I didn't know across the hallway. I could hear their hushed voices clearly.

"...I was just trying to help her out but she was a total bitch about it. Not even a 'thank you' or anything."

"I heard she used to be so nice. Apparently she's been a bitch ever since this thing happened."

"What thing?"

I slammed my locker door and stormed off out of the hallway.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.