The Girl I Wanted To Marry

Preciotio has changed a lot, I thought while looking at those people who were going in and out of a grocery store. Wala pa 'yan dati, ah, sabi ko sa isip. And the streets are busy now., not like before.

I continued looking around while walking. Preciotio had really changed a lot. Ilang taon na ba ang nakalipas mula no'ng huli akong nandito? Was it over a decade already? Ah, kaya pala ang dami nang bago sa paningin ko.

"Yes, 'Pa. I'm coming--"

*bump*

I suddenly stopped looking aroun when someone bumped on my shoulder.

"Oops! Sorry," I heard her say (the woman who bumped on me). I would have told her it was okay (because I had noticed her seconds ago even in that crowded place and knew she was walking fast, maybe afraid of getting late for something) but I felt my heart skipped a beat when I heard her talk. There was something in her voice--Ah, no. I shook my head. There was nothing in her voice. The weird feeling...

That was nothing.

Yeah, nothing. Pero hindi ko mapigilang lumingo sa likuran ko. Kaya lang, bigla kong naramdaman na nag-vibrate ang cell phone ko. Its continuous vibration indicated that someone was calling.

I pulled it out from my slacks' pocket.

Mom calling...

Sinagot ko ang tawag. "Hello, Mom?"

"TROY!!!"

Dagli kong nilayo ang telepono mula sa tenga ko sabay ngiwi. Sa lakas ng patiling boses ng ina ko, hindi malabong mangyaring masisira ang speaker ng cell phone ko kapag inulit niya 'yon.

"Chill, Mom," sabi ko. "What is it?"

"CHILL?! Kahit isilid mo pa ako sa chiller, hindi ako magchi-chill!" Napangiwi uli ako. "Where are you, hijo? Kanina pa kami naghihintay ng Daddy mo rito! Nasa'n ka pa ba? Sabi  mo, bibisitahin mo lang ang dati mong school? Don't tell me, you're taking your time?" sunud-sunod na tanong niya.

"I don't have my car with me, Mother. I just left it."

"So nag-commute ka lang kaya wala ka pa ngayon dito?"

"I am actually just... walking."

"Walking?! What?! Nakakahiya sa pamilya ng fiancee mo kapag male-late ka ngayon! Baka isipin nilang ayaw mong pakasalan 'yong anak nilang maganda."

I didn't answer and I didn't know if I should be glad or what when my mom understood my silence.

"Troy... " sabi niya in a calmer voice. "You had agreed to this years ago. You won't turn your back, will you?"

I looked down at the concrete pavement. "I won't, Mom."

"I heard her sigh (in relief, probably). "Are you on your way already?"

"Yes, Mom. And I'll be tghere in time--Ah, no. I'll be there before Blair and her family. Don't worry."

"Okay. Be sure, anak." Then the call ended.

I put my cell phone back inside my pocket and continued walking.

In six months' time, it would be my very own wedding day. Pero hindi ko siya feel. I am neither excited nor nervous. It was an arranged marriage after all.

Arranged marriage. Hindi ko alam na hindi lang pala sa mga Intsik uso 'yon.

I was sixteen when my parents told me that I would marry their friends' daughter when both of us reach the right age. There was nothing I could do but agree. Kahit ayoko. Hindi naman nila ako binigyan ng chance, eh. When I turned twenty-eight a couple of weeks ago, nagdesisiyon ang mga magulang ko na bumalik kami dito sa Pilipinas from States para simulan nang paghandaan ang kasal ko at ng soon-to-be-bride ko. We arrived the day before yesterday. And now, today, makikilala ko na ang fiancee ko for the very first time. Yeah, kahit matagal na panahon na mula no'ng pinagkasundo kami ng mga magulang namin, I never met her. The truth was, I never really wanted to meet her. I never saw her, kahit sa picture. I always refused to do so. Ang alam ko lang, Blair ang pangalan niya. Well, my Mom told me things about her. (Iyon lang kasi ang magagawa niya kasi kahit pinipilit niya akong sumama sa kanya noon na bumisita dito sa Pilipinas para sa na rin ma-meet ang babaeng pakakasalan ko in the future, hindi ako pumapayag. I really wanted to go with her, yes. Pero iba ang dahilan ko, hindi ang makilala ang fiancee ko." My Mom told me that she was a pretty English teacher, bright and everything nice. But I always didn't give a damn. She wasn't the girl I wanted to marry.

Nagdadalwang-isip pa nga ako kung sisipot ako sa meeting namin ngayon o tatakas, magpakalayo at hindi muna magpakita sa kanila hanggang sa lumipas ang panahon at kung babalik na 'ko, magiging malaya na 'ko. But I had promised to my mother at ayaw kong bigyan ng sakit ng ulo ang mga magulang ko. I had given them a lot before. Kaya sisipot ako.

Pero...

Pero sana man lang, makita ko SIYA. Kahit masyadong maliit ang posibilidad, sa paglalakad ko ngayon pabalik ng aming bahay kung sa'n kami magkikita-kita ng pamilya ko at ng aking fiancee pati na ng pamilya niya, sana makatagpo ko SIYA. I wish I'd see her, or even just catch a glimpse of her.

Even just a glimpse of...

The girl I wanted to marry.