- PART ONE -

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~ Riley age three ~

All I could see were burns and blood dripping from my brothers arm as I walked into his room.

"Jakey what happened?" I asked as I reached out to touch it.

"Riley don't touch it! Now get out! And do not tell mum, ok?"

"Um ok.."

He watches me walk out and closes the door.

Later that night, I could hear my mothers cries and screams coming from Jake's room.

~ Riley age five ~

"Mummy, I need someone to play with. Where's Jakey?"

She stiffened up at the nickname I had for my brother, let out a shaky breath and said "Oh sweety, your brother, he - he's gone darlin'."

"Well when's he coming back?"

"Not for a long, long time. But I'm still here, Riles. You'll always have me."

She envelopes me into a hug.

"I love you Riley."

"I love you too mum!" I say into her shoulder.

~ Riley age six ~

"Riley Evans, what is the meaning of this drawing?" My teacher asks sternly but worriedly as he holds up the 'Drawing of my Feelings' project we had - a lady holding a wine bottle and a boy with blood on his arm.

"They said they wouldn't leave me. They both lied."

"Emily, can you go to the office please and see if Miss Fisher can get Riley please?" Mr Rickman asks a girl in my class.

"Who, the therapist?"

"That's the one."

I honestly did try to think of anything else to draw, I really did.

But the image of my mother dead in the kitchen, with wine bottles surrounding her, was not an easy one to shake off.

~ Riley age eight ~

I wander around the orphanage trying to find Claire, my room mate.

Instead I seem to bump into everyone but her.

"Hey Pete."

"Hi Riley. Looking for Claire?"

"Yup, you know where she is?"

"Yeah she's with David and D.J."

"Thanks Pete."

"No problem, babe."

I walk to David and D.J.'s room and see that they're all somehow getting along. But I guess that's the thing about siblings. Sometime you get along with them and sometimes you don't. But she's lucky that they're here for her.

"Hey David, hey Deej."

They look up from their board game "Hey Riles!"

"Can I borrow Claire for a minute?"

"Yeah sure!"

We walk to our room and I get what I need.

"You're ready to do this?" She asks me.

"Definitely. But can you please do one? Just so I don't hesitate or anything."

She smiles comfortingly and gives my shoulders a slight squeeze.

We walk to the bathroom. I pull out my two blades and hand one to her.

"Ready?"

"For anything."

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