“Can I kiss you?” his lips mere millimeters from already brushing mine.
Something about him immediately turned me on. I was at ease the moment he came into a room, but I knew just how dangerous he could be and it increasingly became fascinating. No matter how hard I tried to deny Harry meant anything to me and convince myself he was just a psychopath; he was slowly beginning to mean something to me, which absolutely scared me. This life, his life; drugs, violence, guns, money; all of which are the most dangerous things imaginable – how could I slowly be becoming attracted to it all.
I shook my head to rattle my brain, “No,” I huffed, pressing my hands to his chest and pushing him away. “I’d prefer you didn’t.” His face contorted and he seemed confused. Although I’m unsure why he’d feel confused when I’ve never really said ‘yes’ to anything he’s ever asked me. His hand wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into his chest.
“Why do you insist on denying me?” he asked just before quickly placing a soft kiss to my lips, taking my bottom lip briefly between his and pulling. Heat began to swell as his palms moved up and down my back. As he pulled away, my face moved closer to his and I brushed my nose against his just to feel his skin. Just to feel his cool flesh against my overheated. I found my lips pursing to find his and just as I found his bottom lip he pulled away. “I thought you didn’t want a kiss?” he quizzed.
I really didn’t know what I wanted. My mind is becoming more clouded with each day spent here. The more I think about Harry while he’s gone, the more I wish he were here. Then when he’s here I know I shouldn’t want him around, but I can’t help but want to feel his touch or hear his voice while his lips are pressed to my ear. I know I shouldn’t want this and I need to bring my delirious mind back down to earth; back to sanity.
“I don’t.” I pushed out of his grip, making sure not to look back into those eyes again. “I do, however, want to go home.” I couldn’t react to my own response faster than he did.
“Here we go…” With a huff and a roll of the eyes so distinct I could see it from my peripherals, he ran his fingers through his hair, turned around and walked towards the bathroom. “What do you have at home that you don’t have here?” he asked.
“Freedom.”
“You have freedom here.” He faced me and leaned against the doorframe.
“No I don’t!” I almost started laughing at how ridiculous he sounded. “And that’s not even the point.”
“What’s ‘the point’ then?” he cocked an eyebrow.
“The point is you somehow think that I actually want to be with you, but I don’t. I don’t wanna be with you and I don’t wanna be here.” Instead of getting fired-up, Harry seemed to be getting more poignant as I continued. He began chewing on the inside of his lip and shifting his weight between legs. His eyes were very soft and his shoulders were low.
“I DON’T,” he cut me off, “want you to go, Vaeda. I don’t want you to leave.” He walked towards me again. His hand slowly rose to my cheek, the top of his fingers brushing against my skin before he pushed my hair behind my shoulders. He’s never spoken to me this genuinely before. I could hear the sincerity in his voice, but it wasn’t enough for me to completely cave. I placed my hand atop of his and nuzzled my cheek into his palm, creating a warm friction.
“I know you don’t want to be alone and you don’t have to be. But you can’t just swoop me away from my entire life like you did.” His eyes were becoming softer as each moment passed. He parted his lips to speak, but stopped. “I can be here for you and also live my life.”
