Dear Niall.x

Chapter Eight.x

**** Week After Niall's Death  ****

Dear Niall.x

Todays you're funeral Niall. I don't know if I can do it. Not on my own. Not without you... But I wont forget what you said to me. 'I'll always be there, you might not know. But I'll be there.' It starts soon. All your friends and family are here. I know you wouldn't want us to be grieving or crying over this. You would want me to move on. I know you would. But I cant and I wont. I have to go now, its starting. I hope you like my speech I wrote for you my love.

                     All my love, Katie.x

I put the diary in my bag and walked up the steps to the church. I saw everyone seated and took my seat at the front. I zoned out for all of it, just thinking how different life's gonna be without Niall. I was brought away from my thoughts when they called my name.

I stood up and cleared my throat of any tears that I know would soon pour over.

"I honestly can't believe he's gone. It all happened so quickly too..." I stopped to take a breather. " I loved Niall with all my heart, I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. He means so much to me, that I have no idea how I'm going to continue on without him." The tears were threatening to spill any moment now. "I'll always have to remember what he said to me, ' 'I'll always be there, you might not know. But I'll be there.' I'm gonna have to repeat that to myself at least ten times a day to know that he will always be there for me." The tears just poured over. "Sleep tight my angel... I love you so much..." I said as I walked over to the coffin he lay in and let my hand lay over it. "Goodbye my love, I will never forget you..." I whispered as I walked back to my seat where my mum and dad sat.

Next it was the burial. I couldn't hold it together. Soon as they started to lower him down I broke down, it was like he was taking me down with him. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't. I couldn't stand there and let him go down, I just couldn't do it. My mum held onto me as she cradled me back and forth as I watched Niall go deeper and deeper. "No, no, no..." I kept on whispering to myself as they filled the hole up with dirt. 

Everyone had left, yet I still sat there next to where they had buried him. I couldn't let him go. I didn't want to leave his side, although it felt as if he left mine... All my love, Katie.x