Living with no will to live was something Yixing had gotten used to. The one single reason he had to live had slipped through his fingers and fallen 6 feet underground.
The funeral was punishing for everyone who attended. The only thoughts that consumed Yixing were all the words he didn't get to say, all the times he didn't get to hold him and now he'll never talk to him again, he'll never hold him tightly in his arms again. He'll never hear his joyous laugh again. He'll never feel Baekhyun's warm presence ever again.
After the funeral Yixing locked himself in the house. He didn't attend work, he didn't answer calls, emails or texts. Lying on Baekhyun's side of the bed, Yixing wept. Yixing inhaled Baekhyun's lingering scent on the sheets as he clutched Baekhyun's camera.
As much as Yixing wanted to let go and be with Baekhyun he knew he had to live on and keep his fleeting presence in memory. Simple tasks were the most excruciating; sitting at the table with an empty chair opposite him hurt. Watching TV without the feeling of Baekhyun's head on his lap hurt. Lying in bed without Baekhyun's warm breath tickling his neck and his arms not wrapped around him hurt. The nights were lonely and so were the days.
The garden soon came to be overgrown with weeds and vines. Yixing watched it take over the garden, he felt hopeless. He wanted to step outside and slash them all down but he couldn't. The thought of stepping outside into the garden without Baekhyun at his side felt wrong. The seed they had planted had grown into a tall stalk but it was neglected of light, vines had blocked the light that once reached it.
It was only a few weeks later that Yixing opened the doors to the garden. The crisp air traced his face as he stepped out into the derelict garden. He picked up his tools and begun to get to work. Hours later it was restored to it's former glory, it looked like how Baekhyun had left it - except for the corner where they had planted their seed.
Yixing slowly trod over, he found it difficult to walk towards it. The vines had overrun the corner. Yixing stripped them angrily but he was careful not to damage their seed plant. Eventually he had finished. Yixing stared at the plant astonished, even without light and a lack of water, it stood tall and healthy. It finally relished the glory of the sun. He stepped back and admired it. Yixing noticed the bud on the plant for the first time. For the first time in months, his mouth curved slightly upwards. It felt like Baekhyun was here.
The bud reached towards the heavenly light of the sun. It's entire self basked in the yellow light of the star. Slowly, the bud grew, small petals began to grow bigger as the bud spread. Each petal savoured the solar streams that bounced off them. Finally, it had come to the last petal, it bounced open gracefully. Yixing found tears rolling down his tired face yet a glimmer of hope erupted within him.
It was a red rose.
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ephemeral | baekxing
Fanfiction"Love is inevitably ephemeral." is what Zhang Yixing often used to say but can someone change that?