Not Everything's Perfect When You're Married To Niall J Horan *sequel*

THE LAST CHAPTER

It's been almost 8 months since Niall died. It isn't getting any easier. Actually, to be quite honest, it's getting harder, and harder. 

I can't even look in my own son's eyes without breaking down, they remind me too much of him. I'm such an amazing fucking mother, huh?

"Mommy, when's daddy gonna be home?" Jonah asks, running into my room. I get all chocked up again. He doesn't realize it, but he isn't coming home. He's never coming home again.... Ever.

"Baby come here, I need to tell you something." I say, holding my arms open for my boy. Jonah hops onto my bed, into Nialls side, and wraps his arms around me, well whats left of me anyways. 

"Baby, I need to say this, and you need to understand. Daddy.... Daddy isn't coming back. I'm so sorry" I choke out, as tears run freely down my face. "W-what do you mean?" Jonah asks, beginning to cry. 

"Daddy went to be with Sammy." Sammy is a fish I had bought Jonah right after Niall's death, just so he would stop bugging me. That pet didn't last long. 

"Mommy, I want my daddy!" Jonah bellows out, his whole body shaking with mine. I pull him tighter in my arms, as we both cry, together. Next thing I know, there's another set of arms around us. Then another, then another.

I open my eyes momentarily and see all of my family around me. Well, I consider them family. In all reality, they're Nialls family. I'm staying at their house... I can't manage to be at home... It's like he's everywhere I go, and there its only worse.

I just couldn't stay there anymore. But Bobby and Maura gladly opened their doors wide for me. Best family I could've asked for. 

Soon, we all finish up with our tears, and Jonah has fallen asleep. I lay him down on my bed, and walk over to my closet. "Honey, what are you doing?" Maura asks me, standing up from her spot beside a sleeping Jonah. "I need to go somewhere." I say, simply.

"I'll be back by dinnertime, okay? I love you" I say, giving Maura a kiss on the cheek after I'd changed into a pair of sweats and one of Nialls old shirts. I wear his things a lot, it makes me feel better. 

"Be careful sweetie, alright? I love you too" She says, giving me a big old kiss on the forehead. 

"I will." I say, sliding on a pair of toms, "See you" At that, I walk out the door of my room, and down the the front door. I leave, and go straight to the little car I own. Unlocking the doors, I start it up, and begin my drive. 

***********************************

My palms are sweating as I knock on the door. I haven't seen them since the funeral... I don't even know if they want to do this... 

Fuck this was a bad idea.

Turning around on their porch, I start heading towards my car, but then the door opens. "Andy?" I hear the farmiliar voice question. I turn around, my  eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Lou" I say, running into his arms, and hugging him tight.

He hugs me back and we just stand there for a few seconds before I feel my eyes swelling up with tears, "Okay, okay, we need to stop or I'm gonna cry" I say, laughing sorrowfully and backing up a little bit to take a look at Louis. 

He looks like a mess. His hair is all messy, and he's got a couple of weeks' stubble on his chin. He's wearing almost the exact same clothes as me. He looks like he could've been hit by a bus. But, who am I to talk, I probably look worse.

"I missed you so damn much. Why'd you start ignoring our calls after the funeral?" Louis asked, hurt looming over his eyes. "I-I'm sorry Louis. You know why, I just... I-I couldn't Louis. I couldn't talk to anyone."

He pulls me into another quick hug. "Lou who's at the door? Your soup is getting cold!" I hear a farmiliar voice yell. "Catlyn! Get over here, its Andy!" Louis yells inside the house. Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a plate smashing, and quick footsteps.

A blonde sillouette is coming towards me, before I'm engulfed in another tight hug. "God dammit, I've missed you!"Catlyn says, hugging me so hard I can barely breath. 

"I missed you too, but i kinda need air." I say, chuckling a little bit. "You dyed your hair" I say, trying to smile the best I could for her. "Don't pretend with me. You don't need to pretend to be happy with me" 

"I know. Uhm so there's a reason I'm here today. Could you call all the boys over please?" I ask. 

"Oh uhm yeah sure. But i think you should know, Harry won't come." Louis says, scratching the back of his neck. "Well why not?" I ask, suddenly becoming confused, as well as angry. "Well..." Louis says, dragging on. "Louis spit it out." I say, snapping at him. 

"Harry moved to New York. He couldn't stand being here anymore after what happened. He said he just couldn't live in a place where a monster is roaming freely." I know exactly who he means by 'a monster'. He's talking about Amber.

Before the funeral, I went to court, and our lawyer had lost his file, and had said the wrong things, causing Amber to go free. 

Fucking bitch. 

"Well then call the other boys, and we can skype Harry. Is that okay?" Catlyn asks me. "Yeah yeah, uh thats perfect."

"Well c'mon in, don't want you to freeze out there!" She says, pulling me inside her and Louis' home. "Let me make you some soup!" She says, scurring off into the kitchen.

Well okay then.

_____________________

"Hey Harry" I say into the computer screen. "Andy, damn I've missed you. I'm so sorry Amber did this I-I didn't-" I cut him off. "Harry, it's okay, you didn't know. That's not what I wanted to talk to you guys about today anyways," I say, looking at the rest of the boys, who are sitting in the room with us. 

"Well what's up Ands?" Liam asks me. "Well," I begin "I've been thinking about him lately... A lot. And I feel like things really can not get better, unless we put it in the past, have some closure. Not only for us, but for the fans, yenno?" I say, looking around the room. 

They all nod, urging me to go on. "Well I was thinking and, I think we should all have a concert in his memory. Just have some artists say some things they want to say about him, let some people sing their feelings, and let the fans watch. We could probably call a news station and get them to show it on their channel, and I can organise all of it if you want an-" 

"Andy" Zayn interrupts me, "Its an amazing idea. I think we'd all love to help, yea?" 

Everyone nods their head and says little yes'. "Harry?" I ask him, wanting his opinion. "Sorry, I'm booking a flight down there now. I'm gonna help you guys out with this." Harry says, looking up from his phone.

"Great"


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After a few weeks, and a bunch of phone calls and planning, the memoriom concert has finally arrived. Actually, it's almost over.

The boys have all performed sepretely. We decided it would be right for them to sing together, leaving Niall out. Jessie J sang, Paramore sang, Ed Sheeran spoke and sang, Hoodie Allan came and just spoke, because he's sick and can't sing right now, and many more artists came.

We're in Knoxville, using their stadium, as it's one of the biggest in the world, and the stadium is packed, like a big can of sardines. 

"Miss Horan? It's time for you to perform." A worker says, to me. I say thank you, and grab a microphone, walking out of stage, careful not to trip on the wires.

I look down at my converse, nervous about what to say, what to do. Tonight I'm wearing the dress Niall used to always tell me was his favourite. I wore it for him. Tonight is all about him.

"Hi everyone. I know you're all probably expecting some long, well thought out speech from me... Well, uh sorry to disapoint, but unless you want me to have a breakdown, I can't do that... But I will be singing a song." I say, clearing my throat. "This is for you Niall"

The music starts, and I can already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. 

*song in sidebar*

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
 
I sing my heart out, not caring about the tears currently streaming down my cheeks. This song is all about Niall. It's all for him.

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I open my eyes now, and my eyes drift up to the light shining on me, and there he is, smiling as bright as ever... My Niall. 

I sing louder, harder, stronger.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I keep my eyes locked with his throughout the whole song. Finally as the song is coming to an end, a single tear runs down my face. "I love you" he mouths. "I love you, Niall" I say, then, in the blink of an eye, he's gone, and all I can hear is the clapping around me.

Niall, I will miss you till the day I die.

-SO THAT'S THE END! I'm really sorry if some of you did not like the way I ended this story, but hopefully some of you like it. 

Love y'all,
Allyssa