(Y/N) and I were going to the doctor to get the baby appointment over. She was 4 months along and we were gonna get an ultrasound. When we walked into the doctors office, (Y/N) sat on the table and the put a blue gel on her small bump. After rubbing it around we saw the baby. (Y/N) started to cry and I did too.
"I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can,
But for now you're scan of my unmade plans"
When we got home I got a picture of the baby's ultrasound. I sat in my chair and began to think about when the baby is born. I'd hold them gently, love them, and protect them. This baby would be my life. I can't wait till they're born.
"You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight."
I dreamt of the baby. I was holding them and rocking them. This baby is my world. I never wanna let them go. This baby will be what I leave on this earth. They will represent me and I'll love them. The baby moved slowly and wrapped their whole fist around my thumb and gripped it hard. I smiled at the baby and kissed its forehead.
"With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.
Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice,
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide"
The baby had a smile just like (Y/N) and a dimple under their chin. I realized how much they looked like her. Their fingernails were so tiny that you could probably fit 2 ants on them and it would be cramped. Their eyes were closed but I couldn't wait till they woke up so I could see those beautiful green eyes like mine.
"And you can lie with me,
With your tiny feet
When you're half asleep,
I'll leave you be.
Right in front of me
For a couple weeks
So I can keep you safe."
I was laying down with the baby. They were in the middle if going to sleep. Their little feet were covered with booties. It was stormy so I decided to stay with them and keep them safe. Even though we laid there for a couple of minutes, it felt like weeks. I didn't even want to disturb the baby so I laid there and watched them.
"Cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why."
I woke up from my dream when I heard (Y/N) screaming in pain. I ran to her room and she was clutching her stomach. I quickly drive her to the hospital. Immediately we were met with a doctor and (Y/N) was taken to a hospital room. I sat out in the waiting room alone. My hair was a mess and so we're my clothes. After 3 hours they called me into her room. She was laying in the bed holding her knees to her chest. The doctor came up to us and said
"I'm sorry but you have lost the baby. We couldn't do anything. Deeply sorry." I looked to (Y/N) and saw she was crying into her knees. I sat in the seat near her.
"It's all my fault. I couldn't carry the baby." (Y/N) sobbed.
"No, it's no one's fault. Maybe it just wasn't her time." I replied to her. I pulled her close to me and she sobbed into my shirt. I sighed and began to cry as well. January 9, 2014. I knew I wouldn't forget that date. The day my child was torn from life.
