His Desires

Chapter 13: Liars Make Terrible Enemies

Update guys! Thanks for the views, I appreciate it dearly. Please leave some comments would be amazing! Tell me what you think, things are slowly turning full circle. -Semimexican.

I can feel the blood rushing from my face. It's so unreal to feel the heated sensation underneath the skin and all to suddenly, like a sink holding water, it quickly drains once the plug is removed; spiralling down into nothing. I can feel everything. The warmth being replaced by cold air, freezing the dampness on my nape and temples. My fingers twitching, trying to squeeze Victor's arm but numbness spreads like a sickness. How much more can my heart take, as the shock plunders straight to  it, twisting the blood pumping organ and squeezing tightly. It's not shock though, I think. Something else.

First Camille and now my father. I refuse to believe it, especially from Victor, but I do believe him. For reasons unknown I don't question what he is saying. I want to try to refuse, to hate him for saying such things. I try so hard, squeezing my eyes shut and remembering my fathers' face. His grey eyes, heavily obscured by thick lashes and his taunt face. Skin that has been blessed with minimal lines and harsh beauty. No wonder my mother was captivated by him. But that's it. Somewhere, very deep inside my subconscious remembers her smiling sometimes. Her green eyes alive and sparkly. Dragging on the months, then years, the spark slowly fading away, diminishing into dust. What happened? I was only a child. So completely oblivious to anything, only seeing what was and not what caused; like looking at black from white.

"My dad wouldn't come home sometimes. Sometimes it was a day, then it turned to weeks, once it was a month." I keep my eyes closed, scared to see the truth in Victor's eyes.
I bite my lip to stop it from trembling, trying to focus on the darkness behind my eyelids. "I thought nothing of it, you know? I was so wrapped up in school and my art, thinking it was his job to be away. He was the chief of police, it was his duty."  It hurts to say it out loud, the pain, the embarrassment of being stupid. Like being told a joke after so many years and realising one day it was about you the entire time. "Now you say it, that he is like you... a leader of crime -the truth comes to light. We live in SunnyVale, population 1,245. A town that was on the news once, when one of the largest crocodiles was found in a creek seven miles from my house. Where crimes of theft and jaywalking are considered dangerous and newspaper worthy. Why would he need to be gone all the time, you know?"
My voice wavers slightly, feeling the familiar sting behind my eyes. The embarrassment fading and being replaced with hurt. "I've been so stupid."

"Open your eyes." Feeling his hands grab my shoulders, i do as I'm told, blinking away the black spots from my eyes. I was expecting sympathy, knowing how much I would hate it. I'm surprised again by Victor, the familiar pull in my chest as his stare reflects not pity, but understanding.

"You couldn't have known. Stop trying to know everything, or you'll learn nothing. I didn't expect this week to turn into such a shit storm, fuck it's been havoc for us both and I wanted to tell you when the time was right."

"When would be the right time? Over coffee perhaps? There would never be a right time, Victor! My father has betrayed me. All people ever do is lie! I don't know what to believe." I try to keep my voice down, but I fail.

I can take pain from a hit, I endured the pain from my fists being battered into blue and black, bruises from punching hours on end to take away the reality of my life. My physical exertion being my raft, floating above the misery so I wouldn't drown in it. Now all this betrayal from people who I thought I knew. My own flesh and blood, the father I wanted to appease, the father who wouldn't let me go out on a Saturday night. I thought it was because he was afraid, that being his only daughter he didn't want me to be affected by the harshness of society. That 'boys' were off limits because he wanted to protect me; to protect his little girl. It was all just a big fat lie. He didn't want me to notice, to see him for what he truly was hiding. An entire organisation controlled solely by him.