Joshifer; One-Shot Collection

Time Doesn't Heal All.

*ONE SHOT BASED ON ONE DIRECTION'S SONG 'HALF A HEART'*

So your friends been telling me

You've been sleeping with my sweater

And that you can't stop missing me

"Josh, I think you should go talk to Jennifer. Its been 1 year since your breakup and she's still a wreck." one of her friends, Jenna, speak sympathetically. A hint of desperation laced within her words. Today would've marked our 3 years. If only I didn't screw up. If only. I hated myself for it. I still do.

She was beautiful. Everything I could've asked for. She was the kindest girl I've ever met. She always knew the right words to say, no matter what the situation was. Overall, she was perfect. How could I have been so fucking stupid to do that to her? She didn't deserve it. No one does.

But if I loved her so much, why did I do what I did ? Why did I cheat on her ? To this day, I still don't know. It drove me to the brink of insanity. I always imagine how it'd be if the roles were reversed. If I were the one who walked in on her in bed with someone else. It kills me inside just imagining it, imagine how she felt after witnessing it herself? The man who loved her dearly, the one who promised would never hurt her was in bed with another girl. Feeling the familiar empty feeling inside of me, I decided to shake the memories away.

"Jenna, I've tried to." I tell her frustratedly. I let my head fall into my hands, pulling the ends of my hair. "She's changed her number 3 times, she walks away whenever she sees me, her parents won't let me talk to her, I don't know what else to do! She obviously doesn't want to talk to me. She hates me. And quite frankly, I hate myself too" I sigh, walking away from her. It was getting harder and harder everyday for me.

________________

Bet my friends been telling you

I'm not doing much better

Cause I'm missing half of me

"Josh, c'mon man. You need to get out of your room. Locking yourself in there won't make you feel any better" I hear Paul say through the door. "We're all here for you mate, you know that" Luke adds on.

Of course I knew that, these boys were like my brothers. But the day I cheated on her was the day that everything in my life came crashing down. Dare I say it, if these boys weren't here for me, I would've probably taken my life by now. They have been there for me since day 1, I owe them everything. I wasn't purposely pushing them away. It just hurt to know that no matter what they say to me, it'll never change what I've done. I didn't need comforting words from them, I needed time to heal. I just didn't know how much. They say that time heals all, so why am I still broken ?

_______________________

And being here without you

Is like I'm waking up

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there but not quite

Walking round with just one shoe

I'm half a heart without you

Sprawling my body across my bed, I shut my eyes. I was desperate to push these memories of her away but nothing seemed to be working. She was everywhere I turned. I still hear her voice, I feel her touch and I taste her lips. Do you ever just crave something so much that you're willing to do whatever just to get it ? Well I feel that way about her everyday. It's a never ending cycle. A trap, almost.