The Things We Do (Under Editing)

My Past Defines Me

Have I mentioned that I really hate school? Well I do.

James sat close enough through Virtualization that it took all of my willpower to not punch him, and Digital Graphic Design was hell as always. "Constructive criticism" is just something some awful person came up with as an excuse to insult people without getting in trouble. Either that or not a single person on this campus understands the word "constructive". Or both. Probably both. At least all the extra credit I was doing for Wraith was getting me somewhere.

By the time I left for the weekend, I was just about ready to stand outside the police station and announce myself as Phantom Banshee just so I wouldn't have to go back.

I made my way back to the apartment, but wasn't exactly in the mood to sit in my small room. I'd had enough of sitting in small rooms for the day. Outside the front door, I stopped and tipped my head back to catch a glimpse of the sliver of sky visible between the buildings. Fluffy white clouds floated along lazily, as if the world were a peaceful place. I'm not quite sure how long I stood there, watching, listening, and ignoring the people who stared at me as they shuffled past. For once, time just slipped away.

My phone buzzed three times before I bothered to look at it. I guessed it wasn't worth ending my moment, and I was right. It was Kacie once again bugging me to go to a part with her, her roommate, and Mel. I considered just continuing to ignore it altogether, but it was Kacie and she would complain if I ignored her. Instead, I sighed, gave her the same response as always, walking inside. For once I actually had time to study. I intended to make the best of it.

Ever since I had become Phantom Banshee, everything remotely resembling free time that I had was spent on that, as did a solid chunk of my not free time. The extra credit was necessary to passing the semester, but the more extra credit I did, the less normal school I had time for, and the more extra credit I needed. Knowing Wraith, that was exactly the point. He wanted to keep me under his control, and it was working. He owned me.

I stuck my tongue out at the thought. It was necessary, but that didn't change the way that having a man so utterly in control of my life turned my stomach. Although Wraith's rules and orders were far different than ones I'd had to follow before. Unfortunately I couldn't break Wraith's ribs and be done with it. He'd been doing this too long to too many people. He knew how to keep me in check.

Upon reaching my room, I fell face down on my bed and groaned into my pillow. The past was buzzing like a particularly annoying fly in the back of my head and I mentally swatted at it. I had enough problems now without remembering old ones. Besides, there wasn't time. There was never time to sort through it all.

I sat up and looked at the picture of a smaller me carrying toddler Seth on my shoulders. Kacie had taken the photo when there was no one but the two of us to create those moments for him. He had dad now, sort of, but I wasn't going to make him lose me. I was going to see this through until the end.

I could feel time draining as I stared blankly at my computer screen. I'd been trying to write the same sentence for the last half hour and all I managed to do was put down three words before deleting them. The little line telling me where I was supposed to be typing was blinking at me mockingly. It was due in twenty minutes, but at the rate I was going, it'd take me another week to come up with something reasonable.

When I had ten minutes left, I made up something that sounded vaguely coherent and emailed it to my Advanced Database Management professor. I wouldn't call it "good" or even actually "done", but it was something and I had turned it in before it was due, which was more than I had expected to manage.

It would have been nice to go to bed at that point. It was midnight and I was still fairly fresh out of the hospital, but unfortunately for me, grad students, especially ones like me, don't get that luxury. I closed my laptop and stretched. Mel would be asleep already, having work early the next morning, so she wouldn't notice me leaving. Even if she did, she wouldn't ask questions. I'd been going on enough "walks" recently that it would seem normal. I grimaced at the implied lie, and hoped that she really was asleep so that it wouldn't matter. One of these days, I was going to stop having things I had to hide from my friends, but it wouldn't be any time soon.

I slipped through our thankfully empty main room. Without Mel to watch me, I could slip out the window onto the fire escape instead of heading out into the hall. It was easier to avoid security cameras on my way to the basement to pick up my costume when I took the fire escape.

I nodded to the handful of other people hanging out on the walkways and I slipped down level by level. Each of them probably had an entirely different reason to be out here, so no one would ever question my choice to come and go that way.

Now that I think about it, this city would probably have significantly fewer problems if anyone bothered to find suspicious behavior suspicious. Instead, when I reached ground level and the ladder lifted away from me, someone on the lowest walkway called down to me, "You gonna need someone to let you back up?"

I waved him away. "Nah, I'll manage. It'll be a couple hours."

He raised his soda can at me and went back to his conversation, ignoring the fact that I turned to head towards to back door instead of out of the alley.

An hour later I found myself wandering through the less well-kept part of the city. It was probably just as populated, but you'd never guess that. The buildings all looked like you could knock them over by breathing on them, not that you'd really want to breathe around there. It wasn't very good for your lungs.

If you were looking for drug lords or someone you could pay to do anything you needed them to do, no matter how legal or not, this was where you would look, but you'd still have to look pretty hard. The people around here knew how to keep themselves hidden, and unless you knew where to look, you'd never see anyone.

I was going to need a little help for my next big job, so was looking to make a deal with a gang boss, not that I actually had anything to give him, but he didn't need to know that. My reputation would get me a deal, and my ability to disappear would keep me from paying to price when I didn't hold up my end.

Without any people around, it was easier to make my way through the streets without anyone stopping me. No one would call the cops, no one wanted the cops around here, but there were plenty of other reasons to get in my way. That worked out for me. I couldn't use the tunnels as there were very few entrances in this part of the city and I hadn't memorized this part of the maps.

Even still, I dodged carefully between back allies and watched the streets for stressful moments before I tried to cross. At one in the morning, it was just about this part of the city's busiest time of day. If anyone was going to catch me, it would be now. Apparently I wasn't the one in danger of being caught, though.

My head whipped to the side when a scream echoed off the surrounding buildings. I tried my best to melt into the nearest shadow as I scanned the streets for the source. My body tensed, prepared to bolt in the opposite direction as soon as I figured out what the opposite direction was. What I wasn't prepared for was someone to run into me from behind, out of the alley I'd been lingering in. The force barely shifted me forward, but I swayed enough to soften the impact.

Swinging around, I found myself having to look down to see the girl who barely came up to my chest. All of a sudden I was more prepared to plant myself between her and the alley than to flee from it. When she looked up at me, though, I could see the blood drain from her face, even in the dim light.

The edges of my mask seemed to dig into my skin as I stared into the clear blue eyes of Anna Gray.