SILENCE

Introducing My Life: Prologue?

Silence. It has been my companion ever since childhood, even at the so called highlight of someone's life like '' HIGHSCHOOL’’, silence have been with me for all my existing years on this planet. There has never been any loud disturbances that distracted me from any of my work or studies, or any unusual event that one could write a book or build a figure on my behalf. Well, not that there would be any distractions since one: I don’t have any friends or someone at least interested enough to actually hold a conversation with me, two: I’m not the type who would stick out my head for someone else, I don’t like trouble and three: I’m just a piece of garbage, you wouldn’t even notice me. It sucks to be me, I know! One could probably say my life is at the brink of normalcy, no, even lower than normal. That’s abnormal right?

*Deeply Sighs*

My life only consists of going to school, work voluntarily in the library during lunch and afternoons, answer casual and petty questions from teachers, superiors and unacquainted schoolmates and classmates, play violin at the rooftop, go home to dorm room, eat, and eventually just sleep out my very bleak-routine inane life. I actually go home on weekends and although my family is always happy to see me, much to their chagrin, I'm not. I occasionally interact with them. I locked myself up in my room the whole weekend with nothing to do but watch a movie, read books, play violin and sometimes sketch. My room and the library are the only places I consider solitary. Unlike me, my family are all natural born conversationalists with a good sense of humor and let’s not forget to mention their oozing self confidence, talent and brimming with vitality, youth and beauty, that I need to put my sun glasses just to deflect the rays of perfectNESS. I sometimes ask myself rhetorically, why don't I have a hint of those qualities in me? Why am I so different? Am I adopted? Such questions that rummage through my mind every time I see my oh! so perfect family, this is why I'm the least happy person to come home because I'll feel insecure, different and well, just different!

*Shrugs*

Even if I don’t admit it myself, I have a capital, bold letters B-O-R-I-N-G written all over the forehead of my life and a capital D-U-L-L all over me. You see not only do I lack social skills but also my appearance doesn’t help much in boosting up of what is left of my morale. In short, I don’t have confidence of myself. I have a shabby exterior. My messy black hair is almost always tied in an old-fashioned bun, I wear glasses because my eyes are genetically defective and much to my mom's sentiments, she can never persuade me to wear contact lenses - It's uncomfortable and unsafe. My face is always oily, my skin is rough and dry and even my lips are cracking out of water famine. Due to my lack of demeanor in beauty department, I swear I could already pass as an old maid, I couldn’t begin to comprehend the horrendous word that my Mom would always throw at me and that out of all my family, I'm the only person who was asleep when God have graciously blessed and rained down beauty on earth, the irony of it.

Unsocial + B-O-R-I-N-G + D-U-L-L + UGLY = %#@&*

I don’t even know the answer. To sum it up, I'm an extraterrestrial being, lost in this beautiful vast planet, called EARTH. Oh the horror! I am always out-of-place and always will be. This is the reason why I never had any friends. I didn’t even join any clubs for fear that I might throw-up again. I wouldn’t want to puke all over just because I was having a hard time introducing myself, so to avoid that from happening I secluded myself from all of the people through silence.

I WAS perfectly comfortable with my world because...

In Silence, I don’t have to explain to people why I'm sad or happy.

In Silence, I wouldn’t have to deal with other people's troubles let alone think of a solution to their problem.

In Silence, I can do whatever I want to do without getting afraid of what other people might think

In Silence, I can’t hurt other people

In Silence, I don’t have to compromise

In Silence, I can keep my own feelings without someone finding about it.

It was all-good, I have no complains whatsoever. I was so used to my world.

But,

Along came the seven un-identified species, which suddenly came like a thief in the night and threatened to wreak havoc my once peaceful-mundane life. Not only that but they proved me wrong about the world I WAS trying to live.

That with my silence, everything can get so LOUD, CHAOTIC, COMPLICATED and TROUBLESOME. That with my silence once was simple become really difficult for me, and now I'm standing on this cliff of pandemonium, troubled and scared. Facing a life and death situation. How did it all started?

Well, it started 3 years ago...

Oh by the way, my name is Ana Caldwell and this is my piece of SILENCE.

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