Hello
Welcome
Salutations
It's been years since we've last met
However I remember you as clear as day
Like I spent an eternity crying in front of the mirror
Just looking at you
I look at you and I see remnants
Distant recollections
Souvenirs from a different era
Of a miserable looking little girl
You were so pathetic
So out of place
A heartbreaking little dandelion
In your rolled up women size sweat pants
And too tight flannel shirt
With your little tummy poking out
or should I say rather large round tummy
Moving sadly to the wind
Watching them with envy
In their perfect meadow
of pretty dresses and piggy back rides
When you tried on pretty little dresses they tore
When you wanted to a piggy back ride they'd all run away
You look back in the box and you find a ripped up piece of Chinese homework
You hated yourself so much
you started killing yourself
not in the literal sense
You were never brave enough
but in the sense that you weeded out any parts that was remotely abnormal
Anything that would stir more looks of pity and distaste
You are a murderer
of your identity
You quite literally painted your beautiful petals white to fit in with the daisies
You exchanged rice cookies for rice crispies
You traded anime for Hannah Montanna
This was a tragic end
The death of a life and culture that would've lasted for a lifetime
The consequences of this murder will live on
They'll never let you forget
And you'll never forgive yourself
Permanently renting a little room in your heart
In the questions as to what country you're from
Why you don't watch anime
No matter how who or what you move in next door
Emptiness will always call that little room home
Next you uncover a photo album
What heinous crime have you committed now
You
You are the reason there are empty photo frames
A gaping hole in what should've been the most carefree happiest years of our intertwined lives
You never smiled at the camera
Because it was better to be ugly on purpose
Actually, you avoided it like the plague
like it would always capture the worst part of your life for everyone to see
naked
There are empty holes in your class composites
Where you cut yourself out
Your graduation pictures are burnt
You couldn't kill yourself completely so you killed everything and anything that would remind you of it
You're never going to get those pictures again
You're never going to fill in that hole
Shuffling your way down the box
you find another ripped up piece of paper
We hid this together so Mama wouldn't find it and make us go rock climbing
You sat there crying in that very wardrobe at vivid images of breaking ropes
worrying of inivitable illustration where the other kids wouldn't be able to support your weight
that they'd laugh
again
and look at you with pity
like they always do
And last but not least
a mirror lay
Entombed in the confusion
We hold it up
Cringing at the thought of what would be reflected
You recognize her
The empty little dandelion doesn't stare back awkwardly anymore
A flourishing weed stares back somewhat timidly
But her head is held high
She's filled up the empty holes herself
with new hobbies
iron clad morals
and other little dandelions
The weeds never going to be a daisy
and that's completely ok
She's never going to fit in
but that's okay
There are holes and tarnishes in the dandelions innocence
but that doesn't stop her
They're her battler wounds
A 13 year old war that still rages inside her
We both know it's never going to stop
She just stares back at the pathetic little dandelion in all her tarnished glory
the empty room in her heart
The rips and tears
and whispers
Thank you
I forgive you
You give her a hug
maybe that's all she needed
and whisper
We're okay
I'm okay
