I was having dinner with my family & my friend. I just sat there staring at my food while everyone was laughing & smiling with eachother, my friend looked over at me & tapped my shoulder "are you okay" she whipered. I smiled & nodded my head. Sometimes i wonder if my parents or any of my friends can see that im not happy & everyday i have to put on a fake smile so they don't have to see how broken i am. My eyes started to water a bit i cleared my throat & asked to be excused "sweetie are you okay? you seem upset" my mother said. I turned around & smiled "i'm fine, just tired." I went upstairs to the bathroom & locked the door, I looked at myself in the mirror & began to cry. I stuck my finger in my mouth & made myself vomit a couple times, after i was done i took a good look at myself "I'm perfect" i whispered. i sat on the cold floor just thinking how life would be if i was gone. i reached into my pocket & grabbed my little razor. I began to cut myself i watched the blood slowly come out from my wrist. i took a deep breathe & closed my eyes for a bit. I heard a knock on my door "Amber..?" it was my friend but i didnt answer her i thought she would go away after a bit so i proceeded to cut over & over. "Amber i know you're in there can i come in." I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes i wanted to let her in but i couldn't let her see me like this. She knocked on the door harder "go away!" I shouted. "What are you doing in there?!" She shouted. I started crying more but i tried to keep it together so she wouldn't get my mom into this. I got up & put my razor in my pocket i unlocked the door & stood back, she came in & closed the door. "What are you doing in here?" i didn't say anything all i did was stare at her for a bit then i stared at the ground "let me see your wrist" i looked up at her, I chuckled a bit "why do you wanna see my wrist there's nothing going on." she came towards me & grabbed me she lifted up my sleeve & saw the damage i had done. She let me go & she began to cry she leaned against the door for a bit & stared at me "give me the razor" she whispered. "No" i said. She came over to me slowly "I'm not gonna ask you again" I handed her the razor slowly & i just stood there while she stared at it. She then lifted up her sleeve, i got confused but before i could say anything she began to cut her arm i tried to stop her but she pushed me to the ground & proceeded to cut herself "Stop! Why are you doing this!" i yelled. She stopped & threw the razor in the toilet she stared at me & tried to hold back her tears. She showed me what she had done & said "because this is what you're doing to me" i just sat there on the ground crying as she stood there cleaning up her arm, after she was done she got on the floor & held me in her arms "I'm sorry" i whispered.
