Hey this is a really funny list so...............................
Run around in a gym with booty shorts on saying 'jaspers little helper'
In fact you're not allowed to wear booty shorts at all.
You're not allowed to tell Alice she has HORRIBLE fashion sense.
Same with Rosalie.
Don't tell the police Edward is an illegal immigrant in disguise.
Just because you say you're a 'fairy princess' doesn't mean you really are.
Harry Potter is not real.
And 'because he is in a book doesn't make him real.
Alice's face is not funny when you tell her 'that outfit is pretty horrid, did you pick that out?'
You are not allowed to buy anything from wal-mart that starts with ' bomb'
Fireworks are not allowed either.
Because their pretty doesn't mean you have the right to buy them.
You are not allowed to stash all of Alice's hair items.
Jasper does not find it funny when you say he's single and needs a loving man in his life on facebook.
Bella doesn't secretly "want" you.
Because Rosalie's hair told you so does not make that a valid excuse.
Edward won't mind killing you if you hum" sexy love" as Bella walks by.
Just because Edward sparkles doesn't make him gay.
You sparkle too you know.
It is illegal to have nuclear bombs you know.
"Will that work jasper?" I ask. "There's no point, he'll just come up some other stuff" He replies. Suddenly we all hear a noise. "Edieeee"!! Emmett croons to Edward," go see your Volvo". Edward darts off at the speed of light he comes back ready to kill.
You are not allowed to dye Edwards Volvo pink and blue
