Cry Wolf

Chapter Twelve - The Nerd

The Nerd

I can't sleep.

The darkness of my room is deafening. I can hear an old clock ticking away somewhere, reminding me of the passing time. Of the fact that I have school in a just a few hours and need to sleep.

I hate this.

I pull the jacket to my chest, burying my nose against the fabric. But it no longer brings me comfort. Liam's scent is barely there, replaced by fresh air and the scent of dirt and trees. The smell of the quarry.

Bad memories of that night flood my mind and I push the jacket away. Tears fill my eyes at the loss. I've only had it a short time but it's like losing a dear friend.

My hands raise to my mark, trailing over the edges. I want Liam. Not just physically. I want him here with me. I want to be surrounded by him. Protected.

The emptiness I feel is painful. Unnatural. Ever since Liam marked me it's haunted me and now I know why. Now I know what Liam meant when he said he would never fully claim me. Now I know that the emptiness will never go away.

His mark will forever cause me to suffer. As if I haven't suffered enough already.

Sleep.

If I sleep, I'll have nightmares.

I will protect you.

"How?" I whisper into the darkness.

Trust me.

I do trust my wolf. Implicitly. Rolling to my side I shut my eyes, letting out a small sigh as sleep finally finds me.

And just as I feared the nightmares return in force. The sounds of crushing metal and shattering glass. The screaming. The blood.

I wake up with a jolt, old pain and agony ripping through me. Tears stream down my cheeks and my lungs struggle for air. Panic. That's what I feel. Bone chilling panic. And there's nothing I can do but let it ride over me, suck me down into the abyss, leave me shaking and empty.

You are safe.

I'm not safe. I'm never safe.

You are. Just breathe.

I do as my wolf says. I breathe. In and out. In and out. Until the pain is gone and I'm just a shaking mass of nerves. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've barely slept at all. But outside dawn is breaking and I have school.

Forcing myself out of bed I shower and dress, my mark effectively covered by my shirt collar and hair. Then I grab my book bag and head downstairs to find food. As I walk into the dining room Samuel greats me with a wide smile. "Good morning."

I smile back weakly. "Morning."

"Didn't sleep well?"

I shrug. "Happens sometimes." Breakfast is already laid out on the table and I fix myself a plate. I eat quietly while Samuel reads the newspaper. He seems to know I'm not up for conversation and I enjoy the comfortable silence.

Just as I'm finishing my bagel Roland walks in and the room goes from comfortable silence to charged energy. For twins it really is amazing how different Samuel and Roland are. Samuel calm and quiet, Roland wild and unhindered.

The tattooed wolf clasps my shoulder with a toothy grin. "Bonjour, ma chére. I will be your chauffeur this morning."

I can't help but grin back, my sour mood lifted just by being around these two. "Okay." Fetching my book bag I give Samuel a little wave, "Bye."