Chapter 1

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I wanted to cry

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I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry till there weren't any tears left. Till I could never cry again. Perhaps then, this feeling of choking in my throat would disappear.
I was... Disappointed.
Disappointed by my parents.
Disappointed by my fate.
Disappointed by my life.
Honestly sometimes I wonder if I were god's mistake. You know, a creation that was mistakenly tossed out into the world.
If that was it, it would explain everything.
I could feel my eyes burn at that.
Tears.
Don't cry.
It doesn't matter.
Nothing matters other than me.
From now, I would live for myself.
Selfish?
I'd prefer that than being a slave for anyone.
Self-centred?
The world did revolve around me.
I wouldn't cry nor die for anyone other than me. Be it parent, relation or stranger.
I would wipe my own tears. I would pat on my own back. I would run my fingers through my own hair in comfort. I would hug my own self.
Yes, it is lonely.
But then again, one is all alone in birth and death.
I would depend on me.
Only me.

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