"Turn in your badge and gun officer, you're suspended." ika ng Chief Inspector namin. Pinatiling blanko yung eskpresyon ko. Reginald Gregory Alonzo's imposing figure loomed before me. Yung maiitim na mata niya diretsong nakatingin sa akin.
I slowly nodded, "I expected as much Chief. Kung ganon gaano katagal ang suspensyon ko?"
"For as long as it takes for you to learn your place Officer Juno Franateli. You are not only suspended from work but you are also on probation."
Ngumiwi ako. So my case is still undetermined. I'm on a probation and the police is going to watch my move like a hawk knowing them they are just waiting the chance for me to slipped up. I'm dangling on the precipice pwedeng ipatanggal ako nito ng tuluyan sa oras na magkamali ako. The police officers in the station are not really my biggest fans so no one can vouche for me. Except Officer Ulysses Raphael Domingo. But he is a kid so no one would take him seriously.
"You're a loose cannon officer. You violated many rules and has already have countless of tally of police misconduct reports and complaints from your peers accumulated only in your first year. Hindi magandang record 'yan."
Bumuntong hininga ito at tinignan ako ng diretso sa mata. "Tatapatin kita officer, you've been very difficult to us since the beginning. You don't follow the rules. You constantly compromised our system procedures. You spite the other officers. You loved to dispute your superiors. I turn blind eye to this because I know despite your unusual methods I know you have an honest to goodness intentions and a strong sense of justice in mind." His lips curled. "Natatandaan ko sayo si Luisito sa tuwing nakikita ko ang parehong determinasyon sa iyong mata. The same intensity of passion burned in your eyes. Ang pinagkaiba lamang ay si Luisito is a stickler of rules." His eyes flickers with sadness. A grim smile pasted in his face.
"But you are also impulsive, high strung and reckless! Kahit malinis ang intensyon mo mali pa din ang paraan ng pagkakagawa mo. You are a police officer not a goddamn mercenary! May batas tayong sinusunod and you cannot keep doing things you see fit. I am giving you a chance to fix yourself Juno. Huwag mong sasayangin ito. I already pulled many strings for your sake tanging ikaw lamang ang makakatulong sa sarili mo ngayon."
Nakita ni Chief nag saglit na pagkalito sa mukha ko.
"There are some people who petitioned your case to effectively kicked you out of the team for good matapos ang insidente kahapon."
I snorted, "That's not new."
"Officer Juno hindi ako nagbibiro. Pag nakarating ito kay Superintendent. Hindi lang suspension ang aabot sayo."
Natigilan ako. The Chief of Inspector had submitted the heavily edited version of the report of the recent events sa mga taong mas nakakataas sa kanya. Not detailing the part where I almost jinxed the whole operation and almost got everyone killed. Almost.
"I'm sorry Chief." Guilt flooded through me. Nang dahil sa akin muntik ng mapahamak ang buhay ng kapwa kong pulis. Not that the police has the safest job description. We are the police task force and getting the job in the first place has already signed our death warrants. But that does not mean I want to be held accountable for their deaths when it comes.
Life of a police is unpredictable. This day could always be our last day. You just have to know how to dodge the threats and possible dangers lurking in the surface. Ito ang naging rason kung bakit pinili ko ang kurso na criminology six years ago. I lived for thrills, danger and a dose of adrenaline.
"Naiintindihan ko Chief. Inaako ko lahat ng responsibilidad sa nangyari. Nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng ginawa mo para sa akin. I know you think I am your responsibility but I'm really not. Ayaw kong isipin mo na may kasalanan ka sa nangyari. There's nothing more you could have done." Ani ko habang kinalas ang police badge at baril sa belt loop at nilagay ito sa lamesa. I extended my hand to his. His calloused hands grasped mine.
"Good luck." Ani nito sa malungkot na tono, tumango ako at tuluyan na akong lumabas. Tinahak ko ang daan ng hallway, pretending to be oblivious of the dirty looks sent at my way. My long strides purposeful. Inside I feel drained.
Nang tuluyang makalabas ako ay dumiretso ako sa kotse na nakihilera sa tapat ng station. Nagulat ako ng humabol si Ulysses sa akin. Malalim na hininga ang binibitawan nito. Halatang tumakbo ito mula sa third floor ng malamang paalis na ako.
"Officer Dominggo?" ako
"Ate Juno, ah I mean Officer Juno... narinig kong nasuspendido ka. Mamimiss kita, ahh I mean mamimiss ka nila..."
I gave him a flat look.
"A-ang ibig kong sabihin ko madami kang mamiss na trabaho..." His skin is pasty white kaya kitang kita ko ang pagkapula sa kanyang mukha.
I stared at him blankly, "I'm suspended Officer Dominggo. I'm sure they won't mind."
My expression maybe vacant but inside I was amused. I bit the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from smirking. In my mind I call him Babyface. When I first met him I resisted the urge to pinch those chubby cheeks. I was curious to know if it is as soft as it looks but I thought that would be really an unprofessional move so I decided against it. Mukha naman kasi itong baby dahil sa matatambok nitong cheeks. His eyes are naturally puffy. When he smiles it hides his eyes. He looked more like a highschool student rather than a police officer to me.
Magaan ang loob ko sa kanya. He and Chief Inspector had been the only person at work whose been very kind to me.
I suddenly felt sorry for him. I had been the rookie officer five months ago until Babyface came. Hindi madali ang pagiging rookie. It was an unspoken rule of the superior officers to make the rookie's life a personal hell. Sabi nila it was a test of patience and perseverance but I call it slavery.
It was meant to roughen us up to so we can acquire discipline of ourselves but I like to think they just found sick amusement of it. It was not a long time ago I was the receiving end of this. Ang pinagkaiba lang kay Ulysses sa akin. I have zero tolerance for bullshit.
When the other officers make me do their additional paperworks I torched it into flames. Nang minsan pinagbili ako ng donut I ate half of it and insisted na yun lang binigay ng tindera. They know better than to me mess with me because things always ended the same way with someone with a broken nose and slashed tires.
