How to train a human

The Family Types

To perfect the art of being a family pony, the basics are essential to start to know what to do. Different members of the family act in different ways, so you are more likely to get away with certain things depending on the person. For example:

•The mother- Mothers are usually quite easy to train. They pretend to be all tough, but really they do love lots. I cheeky nicker and smile pulls the heart strings of any normal mother.

•The father- Fathers are a bit strange. I mean, one minute they all lovey-dovey, the next they're yelling at you just because you ate their beautiful flowers. I mean- they're not just for looking at surely. What's the point in that!?

•The children- Now this is the most difficult. They get to that age where they think that they are the absolute best. Of course, they need to be put in their place. A nip, a full on bit or a one-footed kick usually does the trick. However, for the most arrogant, a trip to hospital does them good. A double footed kicked on the leg does enough usually.

Of course there are also the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles etc, but usually there ok and too afraid after the hospital incident to go anywhere near you. Which is fine by me 🦄