Roasts, pick-up lines/pick-up line fails, witty comebacks, etc.

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Guy: Wanna go on a date?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Guy: I have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Guy: I thought we were listing things we could cheat on.

Wife: *Looks in the mirror* I'm getting fat. This is what age does to you. That and wrinkles. Honey, can't you give me a compliment in my time of need?

Husband: Your eyesight is damn near perfect...

Guy: Hey girl. On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?

Girl: North Korea...

Roast: Your eyes must travel a lot. They've always got their bags packed.

Girlfriend: Hey babe, I got a surprise for you!

Boyfriend: Really? What is it?

Girlfriend: You'll have to wait. You'll see it in 9 months!

Boyfriend: Cool! Did you order it from over seas or something?

Girlfriend: ... 0_0

Q: You're about to have sex with a girl who's a Christian. Do you use protection or not?

A: No; God will protect us XD *Seinfield bass line*

Roast: The wave in your hair really compliments you're beach of a forehead.

Roast: Could you say that in English for me please? I don't speak Lil' Bitch.

Guy: Were you wearing space pants the other day? 'Cuz your ass was outta this world!

Girl: No. They were softball pants, because this ass is outta your league.

Guy: Pick-up line fight! I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus!

Girl: A snake bit me on the penis! Quick, suck the poison out!

Jontron: STOP!

Finally, what everyone has been waiting for/expecting:

Summer 2015 - Summer 2016 in a nut shell:

Deez Nutz! Hah! Got 'eem!