Sugartowns

scarlett adams

Prologue I

People think they understand, but the truth is - they don't. Because no one will ever understand how it feels to be told you have less than a year to live.

Last year, July third two-thousand sixteen, I remember so clearly being diagnosed. The doctor said I'd been suffering Neuroblastoma for over a year. He said it's gone so long unnoticed it was now at stage four. I was diagnosed with stage four Neuroblastoma. He said it's a miracle I was alive, but, my time is limited. That I had less than six months to enjoy life.

I remember my mom breaking down in tears. Loud sobs boomed through the once silent room. Her body trembled and shook as she took a seat beside me, clutching my body in her arms. It wasn't new to me though. My mom has always been a crier. She cried over everything, even a dead bird lying in the middle of the road. She would cry that such an innocent animal had died so tragically.

But my Dad, he never cried. I remember watching him so intently as a tear trickled down his cheek and landed on his shirt. He tried to wipe it, to be strong for me, but I already saw. I remember him dismissing himself from the room because he left his coat in the waiting room. I knew it was a lie, because it wasn't cold out. And what made it even more obvious, was when he came back in the room with bloodshot red eyes, a state I've never seen him in before.

The look on the Doctors face was not a good one. I knew it was his job to deliver such news, but the hesitant tone in his voice and the pain in his eyes showed worse. I knew there was more to it. I didn't just have stage four Neuroblastoma, I was going to die. Not in six months - less.

Then me, the victim. I felt empty. I knew I was no longer going to be the happy, naïve girl I once was. I knew I was going to be hospital bound. I was going to be bald. I was going to loose weight. I was going to have to live through daily pain and fatigue, and the worst part is, its going to be a waste of time - I'm going to die anyway.

I knew my parents wouldn't be able to handle it with a baby boy - my brother, Levi , and me - a sixteen year old girl, with cancer. Dad has been working constant doubles. He says he's doing it for extra money for my treatment, but we all know it's because he can't handle seeing me in this state.

Whenever Mom is free and Levi is asleep she's searching for treatment in different countries. One time she caught me watching her and she tried to tell me otherwise. When she left the room I checked the history and every last search was desperate pleas for help when you have a daughter suffering stage four cancer.

That's why I decided to film. I decided to film whenever I could. And today was one of those days. No different than the other months though. I'm still in the hospital. I've already lost all my hair. I've faced every chemo therapy side effect - pain, fatigue, nausea and the constant distinct taste in my mouth.

I remember when I first started loosing my hair, I cried, my Mother and Father cried and even the nurses had sorrow planted on their faces. But they helped me through it. They told me no matter what, I'm beautiful. Then the next day, they shaved it all off. My Grandparents came to support me, and some of my cousins.

Crazy to say my only motivation became that girl on the internet, Talia Joy. She passed away from having two cancers, Leukemia and Neuroblastoma. Her journey amazed me. I loved how she just kept swimming and how makeup was her wig. She was just so happy - through everything. I loved watching her videos, until one day, I stopped.

I stopped because I hated how that murderer named cancer took away her life at such a young age and was now going to take away mine. That was when I got even more sick. Everyone was worried about me. They thought I was going to die. I was depressed, I was weak and my organs nearly failed twice. It got to the point they had to insert a feeding tube down my nose.