Alive Inside- Luka x Miku

Prologue

You wouldn't think I was one of the most popular girls at school.

I had a best friend, got along with people, had no fear, and was doing amazing at my school work. But then it all fell from my grasp. All because me and my best friend started dating.

She was a girl, Momo Momone. Beautiful, happy, kind, gentle. Just unlike me, she was open about everything to people. Even ones we weren't friends with. We were soon despised and next thing I knew, a group of girls took my place. They were horrid. Bullied me constantly. To an extent where Momo broke up with me and transferred to make it stop for herself. And then....

Then, my dad died. He was going on his late 40s, and had greyish teal hair, with big soft eyes and a smiling mouth. He just...died. Nobody knows how. But it was the worst thing in the world. My mother was sos distraught. She wanted someone to blame. She wanted to take it out on someone, make sure that one person felt like it was all because of them. So she turned to the only person left. Me.

She beat me, ignored me, blamed me, did whatever she could. My room was moved to the place where the second toilet used to be. All I had was some stupid mattress with the springs sticking out. I had a pillow with dirt marks and a yellow quilt which was probably white once. None of my stuff was washed anymore. My school grades slipped massively too. Everyone just fell on me within the span of 2 months.

There's a group. A group of five. They're horrid, barbaric. There's Haruna, the main girl. She has a new boyfriend every week. She has big breasts, a lovely figure, and she's beautiful. But she's got ugly actions. Once she sees me, sh never leaves me alone. She hits, kicks and screams horrid shit at me until I'm sobbing and begging for her to leave me alone. Then Moriko. She's really tall, 6"2 in fact. She's quite overweight, but when throwing herself on me to make me cry and scream and panic in fear this comes as an advantage. She always frowns, her long brown hair hanging over her face. Her fists are horribly bony and really hurt. Then there's Tsubasa, who's the worst when it comes to violence. Since these times, I used to..self harm. But Tsubasa practically does it for me. She carries a box cutter and wear huge boots with spikes on the bottom. She kicks and stomps on my frail self, and sends cuts all across my body. Then Daiki, who appears to be shy but really isn't. He's the least bad. Daiki does hurt, but he's nowhere near as bad as anyone else. Finally Itsuki. He has big muscles and a strong six pack. No wonder he hurts so much.

My life is misery. It won't change.

Why do I even bother? Every day I'm beaten, shoved, bullied, abused. Nobody cares about me. I haven't a single friend. I haven't anybody who loves me. Some days I just want to...to tie a rope round my neck and just hang there. Most days I just want to die. Depression tells me to.

I'm not mentally ill or anything, but it feels like my depression and anxiety have become a person that always follows me, telling me negative things constantly on a loop. Depression tries every day to make me die but I try my best not to listen to him. I just want him to go away.

I want to stop believing what he says, but I can't. I know it's true. I know he's right. I know I want to do it.