The Encyclopedia of Clichés

the typical girl

•girls will think of themselves as "ugly" or "fat" even though they wear a size 0 and could easily be mistaken for ariana grande.

what do people consider "ugly" nowadays because i'm pretty sure that i've broken the scale from going so low.

•they always have green or blue eyes, or a mixture between the two. also, what is with "orbs"??

•they always have long, ombré hair that is soft and wavy.

i'm sorry but like most of us have either hair so thicc that even the peach emoji can't beat it or so thin that you can't see it behind a grain of rice. have you seen the girls at my school?

•the makeup is always the same. they always wear "concealer and mascara with a hint of lip balm."

at least switch it up at some point.

•they have abs and muscles but never work out once.

"oh i am so toned and fit but the last time i did physical activity was in middle school gym class!" my butt.

•they never wear the same outfit twice.

dude i am scared to wear some of the outfits i have once, but this girl
must be petrified.

•she is really poor and comes from a terrible home life but somehow has the iPhone 7, MAC makeup, and a Prada bag.

that's not how this works.

•they are like 16 and they have their own apartment.

hold up

you ain't an adult just yet

get yo booty back home before i take away that phone.

•again, she's a high schooler, but she has no homework or school ever?

what school does she go to because i gotta blast my way over there.

•her eyelashes are thick and fluttery.

i typed thick and buttery wHOOPS

oh well i guess she a roast beef now

•her usual wardrobe is something like this:
daily: oversized hoodie and leggings
sleep: oversized hoodie and leggings
formal: slightly shorter hoodie with patterned leggings

i'm stumped, she probably showers in sweatshirts in leggings too.

•their skin is always smooth but they never once shave their legs in the entire story.

i wish my legs could do that.

•she's scared of even the tiniest, most innocent noise but slams doors and yells at her boyfriend.

?????

•she goes from a sweet little kitten to a freaking dEMON in like seconds.

someone grab the holy water, it's time for the excorcism.

•she has the most basic name, or she has the most confusing name.

like if you call your character "Sarah" or "Emma", you are just plain lazy. but, if your character's name is "Quachadinezividinanne", have fun trying to get reads when it takes 5 minutes to read a freaking name.

•is she like some kind of suction cup because there is no such thing as jumping in the shower.

i jumped in the shower once and i hit my head. good times.