The Encyclopedia of Clichés

morning routines

beep beep beep beep!

My alarm clock went off that bright, sunny Tuesday morning.

•you don't say?

After lazily hitting the snooze button and picking up my phone from the bedside table, I traversed down the sequencing slope of a contraption and escaped to the kitchen.

•you walked down the stairs. that's all you did.

With Taylor Swift on full blast, I began to messily make pancake batter as my hips swung from side to side. There were egg whites on my hands, mix dusting the counter and my hair, but I continued to laugh as batter overflowed the bowl.

•have fun cleaning that up.

I turned on my griddle and plopped two perfect circles of pancake mix onto the sizzling metal. After removing said pancakes, I began to make some eggs and bacon.

I ate my meal quickly. Time to go hop in the shower!

•i hope you slip and fall as you "hop" in the shower.