A Child's Memories

Chapter 02

I heard the shower turn off, and ran down the stairs. I had a bad feeling about this man, and decided that it was time to tell mom. What I found was not something to be taken lightly. I didn't like the look of it. "Mom!" I screamed. She looked surprised at me, and asked me what was wrong. I told her everything. What'd I found, and the bad feeling in my gut about the man. She just said that he was family, and that we don't turn our backs on our family. I didn't understand this. Her sister turned her back against my grandmother, and wouldn't even allow me to see my cousin. I hadn't seen her since I was three years old. I just didn't understand my family. I could tell something was off with my mom. She wasn't the same person that she used to be. I loved her, but I didn't feel safe anymore. "It's time to eat. Would you go get him?" I remember her asking me as if I had said nothing to her at all. I couldn't believe my own ears. It's like she had heard nothing that I said to her. "Fine." I slowly walked up the stairs to get him, and knocked on MY door. He opened it and he still had this angry face. "Dinner is ready." I just turned around and walked away. I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I wanted nothing to do with him. He seemed to realize this and didn't even bother with a reply.

How do you think meeting this man had as an impact on your life? You seem down already, and you said that there were things that happened that you wouldn't even wish upon your worst enemy.  I believe that this all impacted me negatively. I have certain disabilities now that I probably wouldn't have had if not for him. I struggle throughout life trying to get past everything. Still to this day do I fear him. I remember what he looked like, talked like, smelled like, and acted like. He was tall, broad shoulders, salt and pepper hair, the infamous eyes of the family, and a small tan to his skin. He had a deep voice that was harsh sounding and always used profanity, and he had this natural odor that was horrific to the nose. I think his odor was from using too much cologne though. His actions though, are what were most scarring. He did a lot of things to a lot of people that didn't deserve it. My mother was one of them, as was I. Such as what? What would he do?  There were many things that he did. As time went on with him in the house with us, I noticed my mom changing. Her smile wasn't as bright, her moods changed, and she began to no longer notice me. I felt so alone in that time. I noticed one day him sticking the powder in her drink, and I began to become angry. He was drugging her and it was changing her. She was no longer my mom. She was someone completely different. One night, he had left, and told my mom that he would come back later. It was like she had an obsession. It became the first night of many, that I spent my nights in the car, riding around searching for him. It was like he became the sun in her solar system. I missed being that for her. But I knew that I couldn't compare with him at the moment. Mom began to drink more and more. I began to no longer even care about her like I had used to.  A couple weeks after that, he brought his daughter around. She was only 5 years older than me, but she looked grown. She acted like it too. She didn't like me too much and had constantly either hurt me or got me into trouble. I began to envy the time before this. I didn't even care if he was around as long as she wasn't. It didn't matter though. No matter how many times  I told my mom what she did to me, she didn't care. I became depressed. I didn't know what that was at the time, but I know now that I wasn't in a good place.

That still doesn't explain everything. You were so young, so I know that must have been hard, but there has to be more. Of course there is more. Yes, just that there was hard to deal with, but I hadn't even begun to realize the extremity of my situation till later. I really needed a saving grace, but one never came. He began to resent me. He wanted my mom to have nothing to do with me. One night, he picked me up by my neck, and screamed at me. He told me how worthless I was and reminded me of how my own mother no longer cared for me. He then proceeded to throw me down on the ground. I just let him. I knew I was nothing compared to him when it came to strength. He had the complete upper hand. That was the first time he had ever showed his hatred towards me. I was scared of him. I knew that there was something off about him, and my mother hadn't cared enough to listen. As time went on, the punishments for doing something he didn't like or his anger towards me got worse. I didn't know what I kept doing wrong. However, it's still wasn't the worst. It would always get worse whenever I thought it had gotten to it's worst point. Didn't you ever think to tell someone at your school? Or go to your grandmother? I mean I wanted to tell someone at my school, but I knew better than to do that. I knew he would find a way to get away with it, and that it would probably get me killed. He was a ruthless man. He's made me watch him do some horrific things. As for my grandmother, I had went to her, but I fucked myself up with that. I ended up going back to my after leaving her and telling my grandmother. Things didn't end that well that day. That day I went to see my grandmother for the weekend, and while I was there, I told her everything. I told her what my mom allowed to happen to me and what she did to me. My grandmother called my mom and told her that I wouldn't be coming back. That scared me because all I could think about was what he would do to her. So I told my grandmother that I wanted to go back. I never told her why, but I knew that I couldn't just leave her there with him. When my mom showed up, my grandmother pulled her through the car window started hitting her. All I could think to do was scream for them to stop. I didn't want my grandmother to hurt my mom or vice versa. I loved them both, whether I wanted to admit it or not. When I got in the car, my mom was crying but I knew she was mad at me. I had done a bad thing. I told someone. My punishment from him was terrible that night. I had bruises on my arms from a belt buckle the next day. I just wore my jacket to hide it. I couldn't have people seeing them.

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have had a lot going on, and I haven't had the time to update. I've been in the process of moving around since july of 2015. I finally settled down long enough to write something for you guys. Thanks for reading. Post some comments so that I know what y'all think about the story.