Is There A Mirror In Your Pants? (I Think I Can See Myself In Them)

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Source: Archive of our Own

Blog: joidianne4eva

Word Count: 1024

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Mickey wasn't sure how Ian had conned him into coming to the dentist with them because as far as he was concerned it didn't take him and Mandy to keep Ian's company but here he was staring down a fucking vending machine while Ian got his wisdom tooth pulled.

Mandy had called him a pussy when he left the room but Mickey had never been good at seeing Ian in pain so fuck it.

Finally his Twix bar came tumbling down into the dispenser and Mickey grabbed it before the thing could eat it. Considering the fact that this was the third time he'd tried it was a distinct possibility that the machine didn't like him.

Glancing at the clock on the wall he realized he'd been out there for almost thirty minutes so it was probably safe for him to go check on the two chuckleheads.

With the thought in mind he strolled by the receptionist who grinned at him. Mickey glowered at her because despite the fact that she probably weighed ninety pounds when soaking wet she still creeped him out. She kept making those freaky cooing sounds whenever she saw him and Ian together and the last thing Mickey needed was a headcase deciding that he looked like a nice pet or some shit.

The second he stepped into the room he wanted to step right back out because that grin on Mandy's face usually meant that Mickey was gonna have to bust out the titty twisters.

"Oh my God, who's that?"

Mickey frowned at Ian's slurred sentence, glancing behind him but there was no one there.

"That's my brother Mickey," Mandy responded and Mickey was caught between wondering why the fuck she was videoing him and trying to figure out why she felt the need to introduce Mickey to Ian when they'd been together for longer than Mickey liked to admit because people started to get mushy and shit when he told them they'd been in a relationship for ten years.

"He's fucking hot," Ian whispered, well Mickey figured he was trying to whisper but Ian had never gotten the fine art of subtlety so it was more like a shout and Mickey was going to focus on that and not on Ian's words.

"Ian's having a reaction to the drugs," Mandy grinned at Mickey and he didn't want to know what his face looked like because it felt like it was on fire and the way that Ian kept staring at him wasn't helping. "He doesn't remember anything," she explained.

"Hey Mickey, could you look over there?" Ian asked and Mickey frowned but turned to see what the redhead was pointing at.

"Jesus, look at that ass!"

Mickey could feel every muscle in his body lock at the words while Mandy cackled like a fucking hyena.

"Ian fucking Gallagher..." he started as he turned back around but the blinding grin on Ian's face made the insult, he'd been meaning to give, die on his tongue.

"My middle name's not fucking but for you it could be," Ian muttered, looking damn proud of himself despite Mickey's glare. "But seriously though, you got a girl?"

Mickey wrinkled his nose at that because fuck no.

"Mickey's gay," Mandy smirked and Mickey flipped her the bird because Ian didn't need any encouragement. Mickey was pretty sure he hadn't been this bad when he was doped up after his surgery.

"Really?" Ian whispered, before shoving at his sheet until they were bunching on his lap.

Mickey moved closer and helped him move them down onto his legs. He wasn't sure what Ian was trying to do but the last thing he needed was for the redhead to fall off the bed and brain himself.

"Hey, sexy, I know it's not Christmas or nothing but do you want to sit on Santa's lap," Ian leered and Mickey was tempted to deck him.

"You're not Santa, fuckface,"

"Yeah but I'm a gift that can keep on giving," he retorted, thrusting his hips upwards like Mickey needed help figuring out what his innuendo was referring to.

Mickey snorted, ducking his head to hide his grin but Ian had already seen it.

"Seriously though, you're so fucking hot. Do you wanna go on a date with me or something? I wouldn't even try to get into your pants unless you wanted me to,"

"Yeah you're such a fucking gentleman," Mickey smirked.

Ian shrugged as he eyed Mickey like a piece of meat. "You don't look like you want a gentleman; you look like you want someone who can hold you down and....."

"Alright, stop that shit right there because I know you're happily married and all that but I'm not about to sit here and listen to my brother's sex life," Mandy muttered as she shifted her phone just in time to catch Mickey's middle finger salute.

"We're married?"

The question was breathy and pulled Mickey's attention back to Ian who was staring at him with something like awe painting his face.

"Yeah, you're stuck with me, Firecrotch,"

"Oh my God, Mandy, we're fucking married, I'm married to your hot brother." Ian called to Mandy who just shook her head at them. Turning back to Mickey, Ian grasped his hand. "I get to tap that ass whenever I want, right?"

"You're such a fucking perv," Mickey laughed but Ian just frowned.

"You're really pretty when you smile, you know? I really like seeing it."

Mickey bit his lip as he glanced at their hands, he knew he was blushing like a fucking idiot but hearing Ian say all that shit without prompting made him feel like he was really worth something. This Ian didn't know the shit they'd been through but he still wanted Mickey and it made a lump lodge in his throat.

"I don't remember but if you're my husband I must really love you so I'm gonna say it cause that's what married people do...I love you a whole lot, sexy Mickey."

"Jesus Christ, Ian," Mickey whispered as he clung to his husband's hand.

"You two are so cute that I just might puke," Mandy muttered.

"Fuck off," Mickey shot back but the words didn't have much heat not when Mickey's entire being was focused on the man staring at him like he thought that Mickey had hung the moon and the stars.

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I LOVE THIS ONE SO FUCKING MUCH!

I LOVE THIS ONE SO FUCKING MUCH!

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THAT'S ME RIGHT NOW.

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