Questions?

The choices i have made

I said I would never get a sparkmate..............elita changed that outcome. But did I make the right choice?

I wanted to move on from my last sparkmate and I still can't, even with a new sparkmate...

I suppose you know where this is going. There is always a reason as to why we fight. Why we spill energon in cold blood. And why we turned evil in the first place.

Mine was for revenge. Against all who dared touch my sparkmate during the golden ages of cybertron.

I use to be a happy young mech. I was in the military with those I thought were friends. I was happy. Of course all my friends had gotten sparkmates and all their sparkmates seemed to have the same design.
Thin. Brightly colored. Talkative. Curves in all the right places. And always a large chest or aft.
I was a fool back then and I jumped aboard the bandwagon.
But I was never interested in any femme like that. So my friends set up blind dates for me.
One femme after another. Never was I satisfied. I just wanted to fit in so I dated a golden flyer. Her smile faked. Her faceplate was not natural but she was quite into me.

I dated her for a while until I came across a home for the ones with special needs.

Curiosity got the best of me and I walked in expecting to see mechs or femmes doing nothing but sitting. But I entered and my optics caught one femme. She was red, with purple and blue accents. And one beautiful optic. Her designation was ArrowHeart

She looked at me with fear but shyly waved. I was greeted by the one who helps her and he explained to me her problem. She could not talk. Walk. Or even grasp things properly. Her mindset would always wander and she would be loopy most of the time. She had gone over 25 surgeries and repairs. Each costing more then the last. I sat down in front of her and we had a conversation. Not through talking but through typing. I would always come back to that place and visit her. She always sat on a wheelchair so I pushed her around the building when ever she liked. I helped her up and tried teaching her to walk. I would do the silliest things just to see her smile or laugh.

I remember the day ArrowHeart's guid told me that she would go under one last surgery. But they could not afford it. She would die eventually. I immediately took action and spent a year raising enough credits to save her. To help her. To see her smile another day. I would always bring the credits to her credit container and together we would count the credits. It took a while but every time I got more credits, we would restart and count from the begining.

When my "friends" found out what I was doing they asked me a simple question and I snapped. "What are you doing with a freak like her?" I fought them all and chased them away. But I was proud I did. A few cycles later the doctors told me she would continue living.

When she first spoke it was the happiest days of her life. She asked me to be her sparkmate. I said yes of course. When we were declared sparkmates we moved into a large home that I managed to buy with all the credits I gained.

Years later we had two beautiful twin daughters.
The eldest Nightlight

The youngest NeonStrike

They gained her colors but they gained my looks.

We were happy. All of us. But then....the war came and it ruined everything. I joined optimus because he promised me protection for my family. So he prepared a ship just so my family could escape.

But we were ambushed by gladiators. They tied me up and forced me to watch as they.......raped my daughters and ArrowHeart.......

They took their lives right then and there. I cried and cried until Optimus found me tied up and crying. He saw my family's dead bodies and untied me. ArrowHeart, Nightlight and NeonStrike all dead before me. Optimus took me and my family back to the autobot base and I vowed vengeance.

Which I accomplished. I found those who hurt my family and it turned out that they were my old friends. I broke them. I tortured them nonstop. They kept begging for mercy but i had none left. I kept torturing until they followed my every command like the mindless and sparkless mechs that they were.

I vowed I would never replace my ArrowHeart or my daughters. But I couldn't help and adopt a son. You have already seen him. I named him MicroMatch

He has that same style of optic ArrowHeart had. I did not replace my family. But if my daughters were still alive they would have been happy to have a brother.

I have been ranting this entire time but this is the reason why I feel different around elita then with ArrowHeart. I still love dearly ArrowHeart but I do not know how to feel with elita. I do love her but just not as much as I did ArrowHeart.......I am not so sure if I had done the right thing.