This is Me : A blog

Wednesday January 18

So today,  as the klutz I am,  walked into three automatic doors. Yes,  I said three!

Because of this I was accused of being a witch,  asked if I needed a soul to get through and then called a dunce because of this. Now a small background info,  automatic doors have never liked me much. Not sure if I don't have the right human aura or what but they've been a constant issue with me.

But my though to these randoms comments was,  why so rude?

Are we no longer brought up in such a way that we no longer have manners? Or have we failed each other and allowed this to become accepted?

I was having a good few days with my self confidence.  Standing and waking taller,  more she my steps until some doors wouldn't open for me.  Sad part was there was no other option to get in.  But once these comments were made,  my self confidence changed again.  It didn't drop drastically, but I for sure didn't have a confident step.

Later in in the store, I saw someone else who was struggling with the amount of product they had.  Yes I was guilty for thinking they should of grabbed a cart but quickly squashed the thought.  Why? Simple.  If I made a comment or even allowed the whole thought to go through,  if be almost like those who made the comments to me.  Instead I chose to go to this person who was about to lose half their items and offered my cart.  I caught two things as they began to fall and put them in the cart as I grabbed my items and wished them a happy day. 

Turns out this person was a regular at this store and wasn't always... Pleasurable to be around. As someone who's been nice in some sort of customer service for almost 20 years I frowned with this. If they were a regular wouldn't you want to make their life easier? Especially if it were people who legit help supply the basics we need to survive? Again I chose not to reply to the staff working but started my way out.

Scaring me the lady caught me before I left the doors saying thank you. She'd been under too much pressure with her life and it was refreshing to be treated like a human. Not sure how to act or to say I said welcome and have a good day.

My sure step was back in full force.

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My Younique package came in two days ago. I finally got the balls to open it. And can say I'm excited. But not to be going live on Facebook and Twitter as I do it.

I have eye surgery this Friday.  So what's the point? Sure there's a few masks and some wicked lip stuff too (love the color) but why half ass it?

There are so many judging people in my life it's hard to just plow forward with it. There's been so many times I've said fuck it,  and gone and done it. But this has to do with appearance sakes and not sure if I am strong enough to step out of the bubble and just do it. Haha Nike... 
Anyways!
I'm hoping to get my BFF to sign up with me as well. I think she'd enjoy this even more than I would. Or maybe have her as a constant guest... She's always been better at make than I have. But on the other hand I've been told I have some of own nifty tricks as well. So maybe they both can be mashed together?

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The wind here is causing another wicked headache. I think it's time to pause my thoughts and start the slow cooker and maybe rest a bit before school let's out... 

I miss Spring.

I miss Summer

I miss storms that don't involve snow.