The Patient

That morning I wore blue. It was a sultry summers day and I was starting my first job in the new hospital. I was only twenty six and I had yet to earn my full PhD. Nonetheless I was very excited to start my new job. Upon walking in the door on my first day and giving my name to the secretary I was immediately bombarded with what seemed like an endless stream of regulations. "Unless the patient is terminal or very, very reliable, no narcotics for chronic pain. Always start with the simplest treatment. Always follow protocol" and my personal favourite "Don't ever get too close to patients"

What did that even mean? How close was too close? I wondered if I could be called to human resources for just making jokes with patients on the corridors. The secretary wasn't amused when I questioned her on that.

My first patient was a brunette woman with red lipstick and dark circles underneath her eyes. She was getting treatment for meningitis. She was very kind and she always talked about her children who incidentally were nearly always there with her. She had two daughters and a son. Her daughters were blonde twins who always had their hair in braids and her son was always telling me about dinosaurs.

I tried to keep a level of emotional distance between me and my patients. I suppose the secretary had a point. It was too dangerous to get close to patients, especially terminal ones. It would hurt too much if they died. And doctors usually weren't allowed to attend their patients funerals, or at least it was frowned upon. I wasn't sure how I'd handle not being able to say goodbye to someone I was close to and having to pretend that they were just another patient to me.

"So - how long have you wanted to be a doctor?" My colleague Marissa asked me, sipping on her coffee.

"Since I was five. My father got me the 'Operation' game and that was pretty much it" I smiled. "What about you?"

"Well I'm a nurse, but pretty much since I was 13. Before that I wanted to be a microbiologist but I decided to go into nursing." Marissa said.

"Oh cool. My other career options were being a psychologist or a biological journalist."

"Is this your first time working in a proper hospital?"

"Is it that obvious?" I asked nervously.

Marissa laughed. "You just seem really tentative, but don't worry. You'll be okay. I was nervous on my first day too. But I've been here a while now; I know the score. If you feel really anxious you can talk to me."

I smiled at her. They say if you make one friend on your first day you're doing okay.

---

That morning I wore pink. I'd been working at the hospital for over six months by then and I knew my way around pretty well. I was still friends with Marissa and I had made a few more friends too. I had over 10 formal patients who I visited every day to check up on and I was assigned to. I also had 3 or 4 patients who I occasionally checked up on if their doctors weren't there.

That's how I met him. His name was Mathias. He was one of Dr. Roth's patients but Dr. Roth was on a vacation so I had to cover for him. I had seen him on a corridor once or twice. He was tall with brown hair, tanned skin, blue eyes and a strong jawline. According to Marissa he was suffering with lung cancer.

"Hello, I'm Carrie. I'll be your doctor for the next couple of weeks while Dr.Roth is on a vacation to Paris." I smiled as I walked into his room, placing my favourite blue notebook on his bed.

"Bonjour Carrie. And I'm glad that Dr.Roth is on a vacation to my homeland." He grinned at me. He had a mildly strong French accent.

"I'm sure he will enjoy it too. How come you're getting treatment in England?" I asked out of curiosity but I internally cringed. I wasn't supposed to ask personal question.