You're My Mate?

Story Time

I'm trembling like crazy right now. The doctor says that I will have major tremors for the next couple of days because its the side affects of all the medicines I took. Yes I took more than one type of medicine. 5 too be exact. I forgot the names of them so they're not important right now. *Sighs* I'm waiting for my sissy to wake up. I don't see Anthony anywhere so I'm guessing he left for home. Since I've been awake I've been thinking. I know you guys ... Oh what the hell I'm talking to myself like there's more than one person trapped inside of my unfortunate body. Anyways I've been thinking about what my sissy and Anthony were saying last night. I'm so curious when he means by we are mates. I mean like we have no contact like ever.. Not spiritually, not mentally, not physically, etc..

How the hell does he know about me?

What the hell is this thing about us being "mates ?"

Has he been stalking me?

How does he know my sissy?

Why the fuck was he in my room last night when I tried to kill myself?

All these questions are running through my head. I'm so caught up in myself that I don't notice that my sissy is waving her hand infront of my face. I finally look at her telling her that I am all ears.

"We need to talk. Now" she says.

I'm getting scared now. She never used that tone of voice towards me. EVER. Only to that skank/mother... Well I did try to kill myself so I understand now.

"Go on." I say.

She sighs and then I see her debating whether or not she should tell me what's on her mind. I sigh and get I try to get it over with.

"Spit it out. NOW. You want to talk so now there's no point in debating whether you should tell me or not now." I say.

"Well then. You have too promise to tell anyone . Not even mom."

I nod my head urging for her to go on. I'm anxious as hell right now. I'm almost thanking god that I have tremors. Only because I don't want sissy to know that I'm scared. She then huffs and goes on.

"Well... I can't tell you now because the doctors are right outside the curtain" she whispers " SO I will ask you a very important question. Why did you try to kill yourself?"

I knew this was coming but I couldn't hide from the blow. That question hits me hard in the gut. I sigh. Well it is time she knows. I sigh again and begin to tell her my summary of the story of how it all started.

"Well... I tried to kill myself because of what that skank and bullies do to me. I explained that to you in my letter. I'm tired of being called names, getting shoved into lockers, getting pushed around by everybody. Since I'm telling you this I might as well tell you the whole thing."

I look at her and I see that she is staring at me intently. She nods her head this time urging me to go on with my story.

"It all started in sixth grade. Shit. That was the worst year of my life. Do you remember how I use to dress in all black? Well because since I wasn't dressing like other girls I got bullied. At first it was verbal but I didn't let it bother me. It was when we were half way into the school year when the physical bullying started. Now let's rewind a bit because I forgot to tell you that a few months into school I introduced myself to cutting. At first it was light scrapes. But then I decided to let the malice that was building up inside me take over completely. I took the anger, hurt, sorrow, etc. out on my own body."

I pulled my arms free from underneath the blanket and show her my battle wounds. I like to call them that because each of them stand for a battle lost. I pull the blanket away from my legs and pull up my gown. I show her those battle wounds also. After I show her I pull the blanket back over me and continue on with my story.

"I would lose every battle with the bullies, with that skank, and my own personal demons. I cut everyday. Last year in seventh grade I discovered burning. I was too chicken to do it with a lighter so I did it with a hair straightener. After a while I started using a lighter. I realized it gave over the same pain. I'm addicted to cutting. I am in love with the euphoria that it gives off. Now lets fast forward to where I was before. The physical bully started at just shoves in the hallway, but then it quickly escalated to slamming me up against lockers and walls. The onto hitting her. I would get punched in my face and head. They would kick my shins and pull my hair also. That was the only year I was bullied. Do you remember the big change with me over the summer after sixth grade? Well now you know why I changed. I wasn't bullied anymore in seventh or last year eighth grade. I turned into a big social butterfly. Nobody remembered me. They thought I had moved here from somewhere else. I just went with it hoping that nobody would find out that I was that girl. The outcast. The whore. The skank. The any god dam name in the fucking book. But the thing is that I never let the past go. At night I would cry myself into a nightmare every night for so far four years straight. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that it messed with me spiritually, emotionally. and mentally. I have developed two or three mental disorders. fears, and a phobia or two. One is claustrophobia. My bullies would stand around my in a tight circle just pushed me around. I felt like they were closing in on me. Which the were. Another is depression. I don't think I have to explain that one. I'm afraid to be around crowds, hallways, etcetera. I can't be around to many people because a bunch of people would gang up on me and jump me. Another is Anxiety. I don't think I have to explain the one either. And I can't be around loud noises like screaming, yelling, door slamming, etcetera. I can't be around loud noises of any sort because my bullies would yell and scream in my ear.. They never slammed a door around me so I'm just guessing that I was sensitive to loud noises. It triggers me horribly. I don't remember anything because I black out when I get triggered. And now that's the whole thing. Not much. I was just summarizing"

I look down because I am ashamed of who I came out to be in the end. But then I look up at my sister. She has tears in her eyes and I see her start walking towards me. She hugs me and I hug her back. That's when I really started breaking down and crying. I guess my crying made my sissy cry. That's when Anthony walks in on us crying and hugging each other.

"Hey Yami-"

That's when we both pull away. I look at Anthony straight in the eye and he looks back at me. I feel something bubbling up inside of me and it only grows stronger the longer we look at each other. I see him walking towards me and my sissy doesn't stop him. He is finally at my bedside. Us just staring at each other. He grabs my face with both of his hands on either sides of my cheeks and pulls me towards him only to have us kiss. Our eyes are close and we share this moment. But then I realize what was happening. I pull back, with my eyes wide open.

"What the hell?!?!"

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