Queen Bee.

4

Annabelle,

Hi sweetie, this is your mum.

I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you. I hope you're doing alright.

I don't know how your father will take my death but I guess he won't give you answers.

So here's my story:

I was 20 when I met a man, Kevin. Actually, we didn't have the best first impressions.

I was making out with a guy, I hope to God you read this when you're at a good age because otherwise.... awkward?

Anyway, our clothes were on the floor when the guy said to me he didn't have any protection so he was going to get it and be quick about it.

I sat on the bed in a party waiting for the guy to come back.

The door opened and instead of him, there stood the most handsome man I had ever seen.

He had a girl on his arm but as soon as we made eye contact he told her to get out and locked the door.

Player, I know.

Things escalated quickly.

We kept meeting because we were intrigued by each other and then the day came when he finally asked me to date him.

I was his girlfriend! Can you believe it?

Well, you know what happens next, we fell in love and after 5 years together we got married.

The day I found out we were going to have a baby was the best day of our lives.

I mean, we were happy before and knowing that a new member was going to join our happy circle, we got more joyous.

Kevin needed me.

He didn't have the best childhood so when I came, apparently, I brought him peace.

Our love was meant to stay.

We were supposed to grow old together.

But don't you worry, I wouldn't have it any other way.

When I was on my second month, I kept feeling pain and when I couldn't handle it anymore, Kevin took us to the hospital.

Our lives were at risk, baby.

To save my life, I had to abort you.

To save your life, I had to die.

I will never forget the horror on Kevin's face when the doctor stopped talking.

It was unbearable.

I mean, the two ladies he loved the most were at risk, who to save?

Naturally I chose you.

I will always put you first.

I'm a mother. I knew that if I chose my own life, the heartache would've killed me.

I wanted you to see this world, I wanted you to live.

I kept getting weaker and weaker the more you grew but Kevin started to think I was getting better because I hid the pain pretty well.

It was selfish not to tell him that I was going to die, that I could feel it but I wanted my last memory of him in a happy state.

I gave birth to the most beautiful child I had ever seen and as soon as they brought you next to my face "Annabelle" came out of my mouth.

I didn't have much time left, so when they took you for some check ups and Kevin fell asleep, I started to write.

I'll never have the chance to hear you say "mummy" but at least I heard your voice, I'll never have the chance to see you take your first step but at least I saw you take your first breath.

I am so sorry love.

I never meant to hurt you.

Please take care of yourself and your father.

Hopefully, you'll find the same love I had been blessed with.

I'm always with you, you can't see me but I'm here, looking at you, smiling at you.

That's how it will always be.

Annabelle, my sweet daughter, I love you, I love you so much.

You might think I was selfish to choose your life so I wouldn't have to see the pain but truth is I don't regret a single thing.

This way, I'll rest in peace. I'll know that I gave you the opportunity to feel the same happiness I felt.

I love you, always.

Mummy.