11:11 PM - larry one shot

11:11 pm

I buried my face in the soft, fluffy pillow that was smelling like his perfume while the grey bed covers were wrapped around my body. I loved the fact that everything in my room smelled like him, because in that way I could feel his presence even when he was away from me and it somehow helped me to bear with his absence. The room was plunged into darkness because the only source of light was the little screen of my phone. I could hear the muffled clatter of the heavy rain through the open window in my room and I felt the cool air that came from there.

I slowly spun around in my bed, removing a few curls from my forehead and then once again I pinned my green eyes on the photo on the illuminated screen of my phone. There was a picture of him... and her. They were hugging tightly, with no space between their bodies. Their lips were curled into smiles and happiness was written all over their faces.

The tears started to fall down from my bloodshot eyes, without having the opportunity to stop them. I began to read again and again the incoming comments under the picture and the words sealed in my mind, leaving permanent traces behind:

"Louis and Eleanor are so perfect together!"

"Down Larry Stylinson, Elounor forever!"

"MY OTP! I love them so fucking much!"

"They are born for each other!"

"Elounor! Elounor! ELOUNOR!"

I couldn't stop the salty tears which were coming from my eyes and soon in my head echoed a chorus of words that burned my soul, tearing me in two. My heart was broken again and it was his fault. I was feeling like this because of him. Because of that stupid blue-eyed boy on the picture. The only creature that I loved more than anything in this world, even more than myself...

He always does it. First he gives me vain promises which makes me think that one day we'll be truly happy. That our love will be the one that will keep us going through these tough moments. That it doesn't matter what the other people are thinking if we truly love each other. And in the next moment he does exactly the opposite. He breaks my dreams, causing them to disappear as quickly as they had appeared. And the saddest thing is that I can't do anything but watch and pretend that I don't care... that I don't love him. That our strong, pure love had never existed.

I keep telling myself every day that eventually everything will be fine. I tried to fight with the bitterness but the wound in my soul was getting deeper and deeper. It was eating me alive. I felt so powerless, like i was losing my mind...

I loved him, dammit, I loved him! I loved him so much that I almost hated him. I thought it was impossible to love and hate one person at the same time but from the moment that I met him I was convinced the otherwise. He was driving me insane but I couldn't live without him because he was the meaning of my life. He was my other half, only he could make me feel this way. Only he could make me feel alive...

He was my greatest strength, but at the same time - my greatest weakness. I was feeling so strange when he was nearby, like I wasn't myself anymore. I couldn't think straight or speak without stumbling over my own words. My brain was such a mess when I was with him. The feeling was so amazing and scary at the same time, it couldn't be described with words. It only could be felt.

Love is such a strange thing, don't you think? Especially when it's forbidden.

I admit that I needed some time to realize that he was the one with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. He was the one that I wanted to kiss me and hug me without caring that others are watching us. He was the person that I wanted to write me messages in five minutes only to remind me how much he loved me, to hold my hand and think of me as often as I think of him. He was the only one in the whole world that I wanted to stay awake late at night, watching the moon and remembering our conversations with a silly smile on his face.