This Diary Belongs To Jade Baker.
Dear Dumb Diary, One year I asked for a puppy for my birthday, but my dad got me a bicycle. So I went to try it out in the driveway, but I fell off, and broke my wrist. When we got back from the emergency room, I think my mom, and dad felt sorry for me, because my mom was trying to sing, and my dad was riding my bicycle around the house. When my mom hit a high note I think my dad got scared, because he fell off, and broke his nose. So when we got back from the emergency room AGAIN! I think he felt bad again, because he made mom , and grandma go get me a puppy. When they had gotten back I was SO happy! And I felt sorry for my dad so I let him choose a few names, and he let me see which one I liked. Well I kind of blocked out half of them, because the names he had were HORRIBLE! He had the names like DeeDee, KeeKee, and Katrina. Well Katrina wasn't actually that bad, but I didn't think it fit her. So me, mom, and grandma decided to name her Abigail. To make my dad feel a little better, I rode my bike around the driveway again, and this time nothing happened ,kind of . I only put a 6 inch scratch in his new car. Soon the cuddly, funny, hipered puppy was a fat lazy lump just trying to drag herself around the house. The bicycle remains in the shed unused. The only time it's out is when we are trying to sell it at garage sales, but no luck so far. Dad never got the scratch fixed, and his nose still makes an awful noise when he snores. It goes like this "fresh quiet are in", and "sounds of bear being mutilated by bulldozer out." The reason I am bringing up this tragic story is, because that my birthday is coming up soon, and this one is going to be VERY different than "Broken Wrist Birthday." It's going to be the best birthday yet, because I am only asking for music, and a radio to dance to, and I'm pretty sure dad or mom won't try to throw in a bicycle or any other dangerous substitutions mom, and dad have tried over the years. My guess: gift card. This is how bad my birthdays have been over the years. "BIRTHDAYS PAST": I asked for a koala bear I got a teddy bear. I asked for a narwhal I got a sardine with a toothpick in its head. I asked for 6 inch heels,I got a lecture from dad. Art class today! My art teacher Mr. McKee who is a wonderful drawer gave us an art project to do. To make a music poster!!!!! I am seriously excited enough to do way more exclamation points than that, but I want to tell you about the assignment, and not waist anymore time on punctuational extremism. Mr. McKee handed out the thin sheets of poster board that we'll be using to portray our favorite band or performer or whatever. Then he went around the room, and we all named who we were going to draw. I'm going to do a poster for this one dancer that's so cool that his name is even cute. I feel like I have a real connection to him, because I can do half the stuff he does I love dance! his name is Luke! Luke is also on a TV show called "Jessie" his real name is Cameron Boyce, but i like Luke better!:) He is pretty popular, but i think he's best! My dad does t pay much attention to him, and if your parents hate someone you like then thats good, because the dancers my dad watches are, wait he didn't watch any!rocks. Other things my dad hates: People, Movement, no x-box, and the world. i really like Luke a lot. So I am going to do a poster on him.Madeline ( really good friend of mine) is doing a poster on some band called The Delicate Sweet Adorable Honey Prissies or The Pink Frosted Idiot Weenies or something like that. I don't know. I never thought of Madeline as somebody who listened to any music other than the angels that sing with pure teary-eyed joy whenever she walks or talks or breathes or whatever, so I want really paying attention. Ashlee (personal best friend) is making a poster for her favorite CD, which isn't really a band, but Mr. McKee said she was aloud. It's a collection of Halloween sounds (that are really creepy). Like creaking doors, ghost sounds, creaking floor boards, and stuff like that. It has helped her fall asleep ever since she was 2 years old though. NOTE: sleepovers at Ashlee's, not so much. Mr. McKee hangs our work up in the hallway to show visitors what we can do. So basically they use our posters to brag. So that's probably why they make us do every project. So we are basically doing it for them not a grade. There's a pretty good chance that since my posters up in the hall that there will probably be some throw up on it either because they are sick or, because my poster sucks, because I'm not the best drawer in the world. The next day my arch enemy Shelby Tackett was being a jerk as usual arch enemies do, but this time se said that I had, had buck teeth. Then after that I went into the girls bathroom at school, and cried. Then my new teacher this year in 5th grade Mrs. Prather asked me if I was ok, and I said NO. She asked what was the matter, so I told her, and she took me to the principals office, and she told. Then Mrs. Greer, the principal called Shelby to the office made her say sorry, and then call her parents. The good thing was that Shelby never bullied me again, and surprisingly I won the art contest. And I got my poster in the newspaper. It all was good after all.:)
YOU ARE READING
My awesome life (kind of)
HumorMy wonderful dog Abigail is real she is the cover of my book!:) I love her to death I couldn't images life without her.