The Other Faces oF Love .

"What if i was falling ?"

The storm continued two days .

By the second day , there was no electricity and no water  , and it got colder. I was still at Faye's but i couldn't communicated with my mother anymore because all of our phone's batteries died by then . Adam cam by in the morning while i was still asleep and spoke to Faye's brother and told him not to wake me up and  that he just wanted to make sure i was okay .

A little after noon on the third day , there was no more rain and the storm had gone away , the sky began to get clear  and the electricity came back . i was able to charge my phone and just when i turned it on i found messages from my mom , my sister and one message from Adam . I called my mom who told me the road were getting clear and i'd have to wait just two to three hours and she'll get here , i told her i didn't mind staying at Faye's longer but the fact that i was far from her made her worry even more ! So i agreed and told her i'd wait for her . I had just hung up with her when Adam called , and immediately answered :" hey you , i was starting to worry , are you okay there ?" i told him i was fine and that he is starting to sound like my mother and so he laughed :" She has the right to worry that much about you , you know ! a girl like you shouldn't be left alone anywhere ." I didn't quite understand what he meant by that :"what do you mean a 'girl like me' ?" , "Don't get me wrong , i simply meant that a beautiful girl such as you shouldn't have to deal with this kind of shit ! if it was up to me , i would've fled you home the minute this storm started !" I had no words , i was flattered and speechless : no one had ever said anything like that to me , how am i supposed to know what to say right then ? i thing he noticed that because he laughed too then said :" i am glad you're okay , i'll let you get ready and i'll speak to you when you'll be home ... oh and by the way today's my birthday , be kind !" and then he hung up .

Three hours later i was finally home , my mom came as soon as they announced that it was safe to drive . the first thing i did was getting under the hot shower , it always made me feel good and i really needed it to clear my head! Between the storm , the nights out and Adam i felt like there was a carnaval in my mind . All of this was new to me , it felt so unfamiliar and strange . I was afraid i wasn't going to know what to say or that i wasn't going to know how to react and that my goofiness will send him away . I was afraid that being me wouldn't be enough for him and that just days later he would want something else .

I got out of the shower without any answer to my questions , and remembered that he told me it was his birthday so as soon as i got dressed i called him :

" Hey Adam , i wanted to tell you am home !"

"Glad you finally got back , feeling better i hope ?"

"Yeah , but exhausted and really beaten up ; this storm was really the worst . By the way , i wanted to wish you a happy Birthday , i had no idea it was today that's why i didn't say anything earlier ."

"Oh no it okay , i kind of felt like you had no clue that's why i told you ! but that serena it means a lot ! "

"Oh it's nothing . i'll leave you to it now , sleep is eating me up . later ."

"Later ."

And so we hung up . I wasn't really sleepy but i still couldn't hold a whole conversation with him without panicking . I really liked him , and it was my first time ever feeling something like that . i was laying in my bed looking at the ceiling for hours just imagining how this relationship would be . I was consumed with fear and excitement , with joy and anticipation ; i had so many mixed feelings i didn't even know what i was feeling anymore . I ended up sleeping with the thought of him on my mind .

The next day my parents received a message from school saying that because of the storm we would have a two weeks vacation . That was good news ; two weeks would give me plenty of time to finish all the work and the studying i had and i would still get time to watch a movie or two ... But that meant i won't see Adam for two whole weeks , will i miss him ? the fact that the idea crossed my mind alone meant that i would miss him ! But , would he ? 

I was reading a novel when my phone started ringing , it was Faye asking about me and about how things are going :

"how is Adam ? do i need to prepare ma baseball bat ?"

"Faye , come one have a little faith ! The guy has been nothing but good to me so far . At least wait until he messes up and then you can judge him !"

"Ser , i know you like him and that you want me to do the same but i am telling you , i get bad vibes from him and i am just trying to protect you !"

"Faye , i got it , stop worrying and just do your thing ."

"He better not mess up Ser ! i am hanging up now , talk to you tomorrow , kisses ."

"kisses Faye ."

What if she's right ? couldn't my best friend just like him ! it would've saved me a great deal of conflict between myself and i . I know that she is right , i know that him approaching my after that disaster with his ex is weird , and even i can't fully believe that he genuinely like me . this whole thinking is honestly tearing me apart .

The next days were a blur ,  i spent my nights talking with Adam and i got to know him better . We were talking about everything and nothing , we discussed school , potentiel futurs , where we see ourselves later and how we want things to be . i find him to be a very interesting person , very different and the better i knew him the more i grew fond of him . I don't know why i liked the way he spoke , he has a voice that resonated and the kind of smile you can't easily forget . Whenever he starts talking , i start listening because i know that i'll be interested in whatever he'll say .

Adam talked to me about his family , he had one brother and many sisters , he even told me that his dad had two families therefore he had other stepbrothers . When we evoked his mother , he spoke about her with respect and love in his voice : i could see how much she means to him and that just made me  like him more . I usually didn't pay attention to people's details but i was starting to notice all of his which made me worry .

What if i was starting to fall too hard for him ? maybe i should take a step back to rethink this whole thing . maybe i should slow down so i wouldn't get hurt . Adam was sending me messages to which i stopped replying , he started calling and began worrying but i still didn't respond . i was afraid of  rushing then breaking into pieces so i wanted to distant myself from him . 

Two days had passed and i still didn't reply to any of Adam's messages nor calls , i was going to see him the next day at school but i had no idea of what i am going to do if he approached me . 

I woke up the next day , and i was all stressed out . For the first time ever , i was nervous and i was picky about my outfit , i looked several times in the mirror and i was beginning to be self-conscience about how i look . For the first time , the tomboy Serena wanted to look girly and beautiful . I actually wanted him to like me , to find me beautiful and to be amazed while looking at me . I didn't leave my hair in his mess i actually took my time fixing it , i wore my uniform and did my best to look good . I took a final glance at myself in the mirror and realized that it may be time to admit that i am falling , a little too hard for him .