I've been told that I'm a difficult person to be around. I've never taken it personally though. And why should I? The way I see it, if God wanted that person in life, they'd stay. But let's examine that thought for second.
My dad left us (me, my mom, and brother) when I was around two, I'm guessing.. See I would ask my mom for exact dates, but the way our relationship is set up, she'd rather.. It's just not getting answered. The thing is, I don't know who my dad was actually trying to escape. My brother and I or my mom. Honestly, I'd say he was the lucky one. I'm sure my mom was once a fun person. He probably loved that girl. But then she started to change. I was there for the change. I suffered though it, endured it without him. So again if he was supposed to be in my life, he'd be there.
I'd like to think of myself as a strong person, but I'm not. I breakdown constantly. Sometimes I think it's due to me being an emotional sixteen year girl, but I know that this isn't the whole truth. This is just me making up excuses when I'm being mistreated. I do that often. Sometimes, to help me feel better, I like to think about the fact that I only two years left of this life. Once I graduate, I will finally be free; or damn near close to it. I'd finally be my own person, free to make my own decisions. And I promise you this, I won't be looking. There's nothing for me there. I never asked for much, but I deserve the right to control some part of my life.
