Hetalia Yaoi One Shots

Franada - Not so Innocent

"Hey, umm, Francis, where are you going?" Matthew asked in his usual shy, quiet voice, peeking around the corner watching Francis.

Francis was looking at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair and checking his appearance. Matthew knew that he only did this when he was going out in public.

Even more major, Francis had been going on a lot more dates lately, and Matthew felt that he always needed to know where Francis was going and whom with.

And Matthew would sit by the window in his room, waiting for Francis to return, with an everlasting ache in his heart.

"Ah, I have another date to attend to." Francis replied, still checking himself out in the mirror, but ever now and again his eyes would flicker to Matthew through the mirror.

Matthew felt his grave need to ask Francis who this girl was and where he was taking her, but he knew he needed to refrain from doing so. All it ever accomplished for him was his imagination running wild with visions of Francis and his date kissing in the restaurant or moving to a hotel afterwards and doing...

Matthew shook his head at the thought, trying to clear his mind of such troubling thoughts. But of coarse, it didn't work.

"You know, Mattie, you wouldn't be left home alone so much if you put yourself out there." Francis said, smiling warmly.

Matthew immediately shook his head, his face flushed red.

They had had this conversation many times before, but Matthew repeatedly declined Francis's suggestion. Matthew knew that he could barely even speak to Francis without stuttering. How was he supposed to speak to girls?

And besides, Matthew knew that nobody really payed him any attention. He knew he wasn't an attractive male. If girls ever noticed him, it was to tell Francis how adorable and cute he was. Some would even pet his hair, and Kumajiro's. Nobody really saw him as anything but a cute, innocent young boy.

But Matthew knew he wasn't really innocent. The word innocence meant that you didn't do bad. You didn't think such bad thoughts as Matthew did. Sometimes, even his thoughts scared him. He rarely spoke, for fear that what was in his head would take over his body. He clung on to the innocence he still had left. He was afraid of his inner self, he was frightened of his own self.

"Well, I've got to go now, Mattie. Promise you'll find something to do other than sit around, waiting for me to return?" Francis said, ruffling Matthew's hair.

Matthew felt himself blush at the older man's touch, but hung his head and nodded.

Francis smiled down at him, before opening the front door and walking out.

Matthew walked upstairs to his room, sat by his windowsill, and remained sitting there for the long hours that Francis was gone.

His mind repeatedly wandered to Francis. Wandered? His mind never left that subject. He thought of his long blonde hair, and thought to himself that the hair on his arms was also blonde. Was the hair down there blonde too?

"These thoughts, they won't leave me alone." Matthew whispered, gripping his head with both his hands. By now tears were forming in his eyes. Francis's dates would probably find that out, and Matthew never would.

"Who are you?" Kumajiro asked, in his adorable, squeaky voice. He was sitting in Matthew's lap, and his head was lifted, small, black eyes looking at Matthew's face.

"I'm Matthew." Matthew muttered, his tears falling on the small bear's back.

By now, Matthew's body was getting the usual reaction it did whenever he harboured such thoughts. He lifted Kumajiro from his lap before the small bear could feel it.