THE WV ROOT DOCTOR

THE WV ROOT DOCTOR

By Doc Wallace

What's the writing on the jar, Maw?

Say it was writ waaay long ago?

What do you use it for, Maw?

You say it stores souls in limbo?

You tell me to stand and watch

That chilliuns be seen and not heard

So I stood and watched and remembered

When you turned one into a bird!!

You made me watch a lot back then

When I was a little one

And you brought the meanest ones inside

Said it was your brand of fun.

You said the mountains knew their hearts

As they walked among the trees

And the mountains knew the good from bad

And told it to the bees.

And the bees told you when they come near

By giving me a little sting.

You took to your witching spells right then

when the Spell Bell needed to ring.

You taught me the songs and taught me the rhymes,

Taught me to add the herbs and roots

Taught me to ring the Spell Bell just right

To catch them by their boots.

So the mean ones thought they were visiting

To have some whitewater fun

And to climb the cliffs around here

Some were even nice to everyone.

But the mountains could see their heart

And the mountains knew their soul.

So the mountains told bees and the bees stung me,

And that caused Maw to set up her bowls.

She'd catch them in the holler

Right down from our shack

They'd call for Help. We'd find them,

Then bring them smilin' on back.

First thing Maw'd do when they came in

Is give them a bowl of stew,

And some heady Apple jack to drink,

They get to liking us too.

But soon they'd fall fast asleep

Right there at the table.

We wouldn't have to move them much

Just lay them down since they weren't able.

Then Maw would grab a jar with writing

Remove the lid and inhale deep

Then breathe right down into their mouth

While they were still asleep.

Pretty soon she'd get to deciding

What to do based on what they had done.

If they were just mean to people,

Maw would have a little fun!

She'd turn them into a chicken or pig

Sometimes a sheep would do,

Then give them back their actual mind

Just to watch what they would do!

She'd bring them back and I'd open the door

They'd always go right outside,

Then run around in circles squealing

Or take right off and fly!

But the ones who were really bad;

That caused mayhem, rape, or murder,

Maw had a special thing she did,

She called it her Justice Converter.

She'd take down a different jar for them

Pull the lid and breathe real deep,

Then blow into their mouth real strong

While they were still asleep.

What it did was ugly!

It would really put them in a bind.

She'd find the cries of their victims past

And stick it in their heart & mind.

Then let them feel each anguish,

Each torture and lament they'd view,

And as the victim suffered

Then the evil one would feel that too.

It always killed them, payment due.

And Maw would boil them in a stew

or smoke the meat, it's true.

To feed our new pigs and chickens, too.

Yes, I learned Maw's ways in the West Virginia hollers,

Became a Root Doctor for little pay.

But I do some good for the mountain folk.

And get rid of mean ones when they come our way.

—By Doc Wallace