Crimson Tears

My whole life had been a series of choices. I had never fancied myself to being the best decision maker there was out there, but there were certainly worse people than me. Often times I let the voice of reason speak louder than the voice of the declaration. I had found myself often seeking the road less traveled when faced at the crossroads. This did not always set well with the people. They wanted order, I wanted freedom. Of course, freedom always comes with a cost, as they would so kindly remind me. But order; the only cost it comes with is your freedom. And order is better than freedom, they would say.

'We must have order in this kingdom, otherwise we might as well forfeit.' That sentence had been wedged into my brain since I was a child. It was one used often times when they began to brainwash the children.

'But what about peace between nations, peace between our people.' I would argue and it never failed as they would answer; 'We cannot simply give up our covnent to appease the opposing hand. They must acceptbtheir rightful place in this world'. I never argued at that. It was pointless. They'd never listen to a word I had to say, I was only the queen. And after all, a queen is only for show.

It all came down to power and the more order and control over the people, the more power the monarch had. If the people had freedom, the less power we had. I had never been too thrilled with the idea of holding so much power, it unnerved me. I'd spent the first 20 years of my life doing everything I could to appease the court. You must be a fine princess, I would tell myself. I had to be the perfect picture of poise and order. Otherwise they would make my life a living hell.

The day I was coronated the queen was the same day I vowed to do what I could to put the power back into the right hands. Our covnent was failing, innocent lives were being lost, and I was on top of it all. Yet, I had no power. Any problems that were to be addressed to me went to the courts first and they never passed anything that made them look bad. I was tired of it. I was simply a pawn, something pretty to show around and put the blame on when the people accused them of wrong doings. It made the acid sture in my stomach.

Today I was faced with two choices; neither of which ended without lost lives. It was quite possibly the hardest decision I'd have to make, but it was one that had to be done, none the less. There was only one person that had more power than I. The puppet master in this charade. He was a conniving wizard and I was determined to put an end to his reign.

He had written what was to be our law over a century ago, his charms granting him all the support he truly needed. He had conned our country into a deal that held disasters no one held the ability of foreseeing.

I was now engaged to be married to him and set to walk down the aisle in less than ten minutes. It had been the only wish when he had supposedly agreed to end out age long war with the Lleyans. Written in ink, it was marked that on the coronation day of King Arkson's great grand daughter, she was to be married to Kleyian James, said peace maker of the tribes.

I wasn't sure what was so special about me, why he would want to wait a whole decade before marrying, but here I stood all dressed in white. The treaty left no room for me to argue, it was quite clear that I was to do what my grand father had so long ago agreed to. It should have felt odd to be engaged to be married to a man 120 years older than I.

It was not uncommon for women to marry men quite older than themselves in our nation, in fact it was praised upon. They believed the older they were, the better they would be at aiding them in their life's mission. We essentially married a mer guide, not love. It was rare for someone skin to age, a man that was 150 years old may look to be in his mid-twenties. You could never judge a persons age by their looks.

I, however, could not help feeling dirty with the prospect of marrying a man such as Kleyian James. I felt it was an insult on my character. I was praised for being so blessed as to get to marry him. In the eye of my court hands, Kleyian was equivlant to a god. I should be happy, but I was not. Thoughts against our new convents ways should not have crossed my mind, but they did.