Little Things || Larry Stylinson

Chapter 1

Dear the next person I date, for starters I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have trust issues and I'm difficult to be with and make you happy but I promise that I'll try. I promise I'll be patient with you as long as you will always be patient with me because I'll need it. I am sorry for all the nights I will be anxious and cry and the amount of times I'll be terrified thinking about you will be leaving and walking away like the others. But one thing I will promise you is that although it will not be easy it will be worth no matter what happens I will love you unconditionally and I will treat you the way I have the entire relationship. I will not give up as long as you promise me you will never stop showing me that you love me because I need to be constantly reassured and I understand how difficult that can be.

all the love, harry.

Harry closes his journal as he done at his last word. It is three in the morning but still he can't shut his eyes. It's not about the sounds of traffic nor the barking dogs. He can't sleep because his mind never intended to stop make loud voices.

"The best parts of me aren't real. I've created the person for you to love and I'm tired. You don't need me and I don't love you. This is not about you anymore."

Her voices are the one that keeps taunting him at night. He thinks it like a curse, really. They don't live together now but it seems the memories will never fade away by times. He wishes there's a delete button to all of the things or person he doesn't want to have and remember anymore. He struggles at night whenever he wants to sleep because his bed is empty as his arms.

He loses more weight since she's gone. He can't even eat and the sick feeling in his stomach just becomes a permanent part of him. He decides to leave the town, his home that is Holmes Chapel. He wants to start a new life, leave the country girl behind. Forgetting her is not easy but that's the best least he can do because what's the point of one-sided love? It is a big decision to make, to refresh his life but his parents understand his situation and they never stopped him from doing what's right.

Harry rents an affordable apartment in the big city of London and transfer to a new school. His parents help him on the apartment part but he says this going to be the first and the last as he tells his parents he wants to be independent so he applies for a part time job where he can work when he has a day off from school. It's a small bakery and it's easier for him because it is very close to his apartment. It only takes five minutes to arrive to his workplace. At the bakery, he doesn't bake at all yet all of the baking part is taking care by Taylor. He admits she is good at baking especially chocolate muffins. When he has free times, he will bug her at the kitchen, pleading to teach him how to do the chocolate muffin. He always complain to her about how unfair their boss is because put him on the cashier section instead of baking section. He loves to bake but it seems it's not his luck. All he does is taking care of the money and make sure the customers pay before leaving.

He decides to sleep as the time shows five in the morning. The day will be busy as he wants to buy some supplies for his new home. He reaches for his phone and deletes all the unsent texts, drafted status updates, ripped up the letters that address to her and put out the last flames of hope between them. He doesn't want a girl who feeds him lies to keep his opinions and thoughts quiet. He doesn't want a girl who was unsure of her wants and needs and blame others for her indecisiveness. He doesn't want a girl who doesn't want him. He doesn't need that girl back.