Little Things || Larry Stylinson

Chapter 14

Louis calls again and Harry wish he can say that he's strong enough not to answer anymore but it's almost three in the morning and he's slightly tired and Louis' old ringtone is ringing through his ears so loud, his heart starts to ache. Maybe he will answer and Louis will tell him he miss him even when Louis drunk and slurring his words again and Harry will pretend it doesn't hurt while Harry tells him he misses him too, especially when he's calling in the middle of the night because he's lonely. But let's face it. Luis calls again and it's already three in the morning and Luis always knows he will answer. The fact is, everything has changed. He will never answer this time.

Harry is sitting alone on the black leather sofa, making his journal as his pillow. He doesn't have any energy to write so he lets his unwritten thoughts linger in his body and soul. He feels numb and dishearten. Left alone with him in the living room with the television showing a comedy show yet it doesn't make him laugh at all. What makes him laugh louder right now is that he realizes that his life is only a joke.

"Why you're doing this to me?"

He can't bear his tears anymore. It flows down his clean cheeks. He can't even remember when is the last time Louis stops hurting him.

He yells out to release his anger. He gets up from his seat, goes straight to the television cabinet and grabs a ceramic vase that his mother bought for him two years ago. He throws it to the television without feeling any guilt. The screen TV are scatters makes the comedy show stops showing. The house is all quite now; without the TV's sounds, just a silence of tensions and anger. He clenches his knuckles.

"I don't fucking care anymore."

He grabs his brown leather coat, puts on his brown boots and just let his hair undone. It's about four in the morning and he decides to go out from his apartment as he can't handle the feelings he feels whenever he's in it. He wants something new. He wants to get drunk. He wants to buy bottles of beers that the shop is just across the street. He is not a drinker but he wants to forget the pain he feels at least he forgets it for tonight.

It's drizzling makes he pulls tighter his coat towards his body especially his neck. He looks to his left and right to make sure the road is clear before he crosses the street. From here, he already sees a sigh of the beers shop states BEER in neon red lights make him smile because it's still open.

He walks into the shop and goes straight to the beer section. He sees a lot of types of beers and he only knows is liquor because that's what his family always have at home. He looks around the section and he sees a bottle of red wine makes scowls because he remembers back then that the wine is the reason he get close to Louis. He quickly grabs the red wine from the rack and brings It to the counter.

"How much?" Harry pulls out his wallet from his petticoat.

The cashier gives him a defiantly stare, maybe figuring out his age.

"What? I'm eighteen." Harry sounds annoy.

The cashier nods and brings the red wine to the scanner and say. "Fifty dollars." Harry takes out fifty dollars from his wallet and takes the red wine and quickly leaves the shop.

He stops at a bus station to get a roof while waiting for the rain to stop because it's becoming heavy now. He takes out the red wine from the plastic bag and stares at it.

"This fucking thing that makes us this far. I drunk after a glass. Now tell me how about a whole fucking bottle?"

He opens the bottle and burst sound from the content makes him feels satisfied. He brings the bottle to his mouth without waiting any longer. The red wine condense liquid flows down his throat.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Louis puts down his wine on the table and pulls Harry closer to him.

"I guess this wine. My head hurts." Harry massage his temple with his own hand, looks so painful.

Louis curses in his English accent and get up from his seat before pull Harry's up and put his arm around his neck. "This is your first time drinking wine, yeah?" Louis still can afford a laugh even he's having a big guy than him. "Let me take you upstairs and have a rest."

The tastes of the red wine have become one with his tongue. It pains him mentally. He remembers all of their little things. It's hurt him in the heart. It's burning inside him.

He reaches to Louis' face and end up traces flour on his cheeks. He laughs after that and so does Louis. "You are so cute, Lou." Harry chuckles. "This time you're not drunk?" Louis smiles and slowly wipes away the flour that traces on his cheeks.

His head starts to spin. He tries to walk but he can't walk steadily. The memories between them is aching him. It eats him slowly inside. Louis' little laughs play so loud in his visions. He wants to shoot his head, he wishes.

"- Hell boy, I'm fooking straight. I'm not gay. I'm not gay like you!" Louis exclaims at the last word

"I miss you, Lou." He murmurs to himself, walks unsteadily towards the road to back home. The rain is not as heavier as before. He is sobbing, chokes by his own saliva and wine. His eyes start to swollen. He curses every time he hits the rock and the puddles on the road that makes his boots wet.

"I should've known that you're not a gay." He stops to gulp his wine. "But I really thought that you love me." He cries again.

It's already six in the morning but he doesn't realize it at all. He tries his best to walk straight to cross the road. It's start to have so many vehicles on the road, plus it's a rainy day so most of them using cars. He looks like a madman; with a bottle of wine on his right hand, hair undone, wet clothes, drunk, walking unsteadily. He stands at the border of the roadside to wait for a perfect time to cross the street. He taps the traffic button for a green light for walkers and when it turns green, he crosses the street. Without his realization, a Ducati motorbike ignores the green light walkers, makes the rider rides real fast despite Harry is crossing the street and with that the rider hits him. Harry is throws away in the middle of the driveways. People start to panic. All of the drivers that is near the accident, flash out from their vehicles and check on Harry.

"What you've been thinking?! There was a green light for walkers for god sake!" A male scolds the rider that looks real panic and he takes off his full face helmet, shows his pale face.

"I – I'm sorry."

Harry can't mutter anymore words. He lies on the driveways, coughs follows by blood. The bottle of his red wine has scattered all over the road.

"He's bleeding!" Someone from the pack people shouts.

"We need to take him to the hospital." The rider says.

"I'll take him with my car." The male that scolds the rider earlier offers his hand.

A lady from them instructs some people to lift Harry and put him in the back seat of the car. "He lost so many bloods." The lady says looks so terrified.

Harry feels dizzy. It makes him dizzier when the car passes road bumps. The driver drives real fast. "Hold on, kid we're not far from the hospital."

Harry tries to reply him but his sight is blurry. He feels like he can't open his eyes anymore. His head has smudged with blood, his arms breaks and scratches all over his bare skin. It makes the seat dirty too.

As the last turn and so many direction signals he hears from the car, finally the driver stops and quickly flashes out from the car and he hears the driver shouts to the hospital entrance, calls out for doctors and nurses. With that, he breathes out a heavy one and his sight is all black out.