Late in the summer of my eighteenth year, my mother decided that I was depressed. Well, why wouldn't I be? I'm eighteen years old, I have Stage IV Thyroid cancer, and I have zero friends. Well, I have friends, but not real friends. I hated the pity or sadness that surrounded me twenty-four seven. My mother would complain about me staying at home instead of going out with friends, but I would always argue With 'what friends?' and that would always upset her. Besides, I'm comfortable with how I live my life. But, if you've ever looked at a cancer booklet, you see that depression is a side effect of cancer. And cancer is a side effect of dying (but what isn't?). So, after my doctor had confirmed her thought, she decided to send me to this Social Group. And I utterly hate it. Social group consists of several teens and a few adults who don't handle their cancer well. I believe I handle it fine, I mean: I know I'm going to die. I'm prepared for it.
I was standing in front of the worn down church, the nubs in my nose forcing air to my lungs. My left hand gripped the cart that carried my oxygen tank tightly as my mother kissed the side of my head. "Be good, my love. I will be back later," she told me, but I knew that she would be out here reading in the car. She and I both know that I know. The only person I knew in here was poor Liam, the tall, half blind boy. He can be a smartass, but he's a really cool guy when you get to know him. Yet, I haven't. We never really exchange words. They're more like groans and tortured looks. I walked down the dusty halls, the cart making the normal rattling noise as it glided over the loose tiles in the floor. Another reason I hate this place. But at least it has an elevator. People casually passed by me like I was just an obstacle in their path. Well, I was. Another side effect of dying. I felt like I had just ran a marathon once I had reached the elevator. I knelt down inside, allowing the machine to take me up to the room.
What sucks is that every time I get here, I'm usually late because of my crap lungs and the elevator doors are creaky. So, when they open to reveal the room, almost everyone turns to look at me. And that is what happened this time. I readjusted the nubs in my nose, standing from my kneeling position. I hate this damn place, everything is so far away. The doors slowly creaked open in front of me and I trudged out, lazily dragging the cart with me. A few people asked if they could help me with this stupid heavy thing, but I only declined them. I hate being a bother. I spotted Liam almost immediately. He was wearing his usual white v neck and blue jeans, sitting slumped in his chair. I walked over to him, my head down with my hair left in my face. "Hello, Jade," the sandy haired boy said, attracting my attention. "Hello," I replied, plopping down into the small plastic chair we were all forced to sit in for useless hours of emotional speakings. "Today is supposed to be extremely emotional." he muttered under his breath, his one good eye trapped on staring at the ground. "Oh, really?"
He only nodded, and then we went silent. It wasn't a very awkward silence; it never truly is. We don't normally talk, and I think this was the longest a conversation between the two of us were held. I liked it. Michael, our normal speaker, walked out into the middle of our circle of death with a wide smile. "Hello, boys and girls," he began, just like every other day. "For all the new cancer kids, my name is Michael Beldochi, and I am the speaker here that you can tell anything to." Liam and I groaned silmultaneously. The country accent, maybe Texan, amused most of us Brits here. Especially since he moved all the way to South Shields from America. Who would do that? He continued talking until the elevator doors slid open with a loud creak. All of our eyes turned to the place a tall, curly haired boy stood. And Liam snorted. The lanky boy was attractive, amazingly attractive. He waled with such grace and sat down in the last open chair: right across from myself. Liam never raised his eye from the ground, but I could tell that he knew who had entered the room. I somewhat recognize him, but not fully.
Michael continued speaking, not even noticing the new presence in the moldy room. Our eyes met several times, his crooked grin plastered on his tanned face. Everything about him, all of his flaws, everything just seemed as if they were sculpted by gods. And soon, time had ran out for us all. Michael cut class short because of the death of one of our members. He said our prayer, adding the boy's name to the list of the dead at the end. It was depressing, really. Listening to him recite all of the dead members by memory. Everyone gathered to their feet, my hand still clutcing my oxygen cart. But Mr Tall approached me, or Liam. "Hello, old friend," he spoked in a slow, deep voice. That was the first time I had seen Liam notice another human being. "Hello, curly," he replied, his lips curling into a goofy smile. "I am about to walk Jade out, care to join?" I looked between the two, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth. "Sure, might as well." His voice was gravelly, so smooth but rough. If that makes any sense at all. Liam nodded his head toward the door and I took the first step.
I walked quietly, the only sound being the wheels scraping across the tiles. The tall boy smirked at me each time I turned my head. Both of the boys conversed behind me, Liam occasionally asking to carry my tank. And of course, I would decline. We all decided to take the stairs since the elevator was occupied. That was a big mistake. Each step I would take in a deeper breath to help me get down the steep, steep stairs. But nothing was working. Liam and the new guy continued to talk, not a bit concerned about how I was holding up. So, I decided to just try my best and run down the stairs. I haven't been able to run in forever, so it was new and exciting to me. "Jade! Slow down before you fall!" I heard Michael say, but I ignored him. Stars were caught in my peripheral vision. Finally, Lanky stopped me and grabbed my tank, helping my down the stairs slowly. I was gasping for breath, hoping the little nubs were still in my nose. It was hard to tell, truthfully. "Are you alright?" he asked me, and I only nodded. "Yes, I am."
"Would you like to sit down?"
"No, I'm fine," I answered.
"C'mon. Let's sit."
"Are you always this stubborn?"
"Just a bit," he answered, his crooked grin playing his lips.
"I don't like it." He chuckled.
"You don't like stubborn?" That's not what I was really saying, but yeah. I don't like boys that just take pity on me. "Maybe," I said, glancing up at him. He really was tall, extremely tall. And cute. But I would never say that out loud. I would be completely embarrassed. I just smiled a half smile and turned away from him. We continued down the steps until we had finally made it. "Congratulations, Jade. You've made a new record," Liam said sarcastically, Lanky snorting in response. "Thanks, Liam. Means a lot." He's very joking, very weird at times. And sometimes it is hard to tell if he's joking. But he's still a friend, none the less. "So, you talk to the smartass over there really well, but not me?" the curly haired bloke asked me, a hurt expression written on his face. "Well, I would speak more if I knew the basic facts. For example, your name," I retorted, earning a chuckle from the duo. "Harry, Harry Styles." He held out his large hand for me to shake, so I did. I shook his hand gracefully, ignoring the cute smirk playing his plump lips.
God, how can someone be this attractive? But before I could speak, a shrill scream was heard from behind us. Followed by Liam's name. "Danielle!" he called, opening his arms for the thin girl. Danielle was a dancer, very fit for her age. I possibly could call her a friend as well, I suppose. The boy was greeted with a kiss, which turned into the two of them snogging against the church with Harry and I standing beside them. Just hearing the small noises escaping the couple made me blush, but I knew that it would never happen for me. No, I do not like Liam. I just don't believe that a girl like me could ever find love. A girl that could die any second now.
"So, Jade?"
"Yes, Harry?"
He smiled brightly, "I noticed you were staring at me in the group."
"Yeah, right," I snorted, rolling my eyes.
"It's true."
"You wish."
"Maybe I do."
The crooked grin was back. I really did like the goofy expression on his face when he smiled like that. He looked down at me and I couldn't help but notice the small scar above his left eyebrow. A car horn pulled me out of my thoughts, and Liam out of his make out session. "Jade!" my mother called from our car, making me groan. "Bye, Jade. See you next week," Liam said, going back in to suck Dani's face off. I turned to wave to Harry, but he was already walking off. "Goodbye, Harry," I mumbled under my breath as I jumped into the car, tucking the cart underneath my legs. "Who was that boy?" mum asked, wiggling her freshly fixed eyebrows. I couldn't hold back the laughter as she continued to do the dance. "His name is Harry and he's a very unique character," I told her as she started the car.
Ah, Harry. A unique character indeed.
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A/N: Tada! First chapter! I know that it is kind of boring and all, but I hope you guys liked it! Since the Social Group is for cancer kids only, what kind of cancer do you think Harry has? What about the other boys? Don't worry, they will appear soon. Sorry about the Payzer moment, I just miss them so much. But Danielle will not stay for long. :(
I hope you guys enoyed it and I will try to update as soon as possible!
-Minnie Xx
