Believe

Chapter I

He was inside a hollow void all his life not because he chose to be inside the darkness, but because he had no other choice but to live with the choices he made.

He could not remember when he first learned to embrace the darkness around him. When he thinks of a certain event that triggered him to be what he is right now, he couldn't think of any. Probably that was his defense mechanism, he burn down memories before they backfire.

The cold breeze of December played with the curtains of Gideon's room, causing it to dance in rhythm with the leaves of a pine tree that was visible through his window pane. It was a perfect day for him, the sun wasn't as high as it supposed to be. Gloomy is Gideon's definition for a perfect weather.

Usually, he would go downstairs and eat with his family. But everything changed when he decided to move out from their house and live by his own. There were three main reasons why Gideon moved out from home; one is that, he wanted to have a quiet, peaceful and a smooth-sailing life. Another is because he wanted freedom from every chain that everyone unconsciously shackled on him. Lastly, he hated the judgment towards him and to his family.

He stood up from bed, reached for his eyeglasses that was on top of his bedside table, and wore his favorite gray sweater. A long-sleeved cotton shirt, covering his pale skin from his neck to the halves of his palms. He had a variety of colored sweaters inside his wardrobe but that one was his favorite. It was his fashion statement every day; a plain long-sleeved shirt, his skinny jeans and a pair of sneakers, he also wears a beanie whenever he goes out.

He walked outside his room and was greeted by his golden retriever, Sally, which always wakes up ahead of him. The two of them went into the dining room and prepared breakfast.

Gideon was okay with his routine, from bed to breakfast then to school... to his dreaded school.

With a sigh, he went into the cupboards and started looking for the box of dog food that his dad would usually restock for his dog. His eyes squinted, "Dog food," he read the label of the box carefully.

Ever since he was a child, he had a problem distinguishing colors. From his coloring books when he was in kindergarten, to the comic books his cousin would usually lend him over summer and Christmas breaks, and even to his textbooks in college. Every time he tries to tell which color was which, it's as if his eyes failed their job to help him see and recognize different hues.

He never told his family about the flashing rainbow lights, or the sometimes black and whites for he knew they will never believe him. Well, they will believe one way or another. But he can't be saved by other people. He knows he needed saving but he's afraid only him can save himself. Too bad, Gideon is too afraid to even try.

Sally barked, dragging him out of his reverie. He went to his knees and filled his dogs' feeding bowl with dog food pellets.

Gideon's always been a profound person. Only a few people dared to check on him, for his thoughts were of arsenal words and his soul's depth can be compared to that of the oceans. Most of the people who tried, drowned.

His depth made him unreachable. That's why when he needed help, no one came to save him for he was too secluded from the world.

It was his choice, though. He loved seclusion, too much. Then he found himself too... far.

He had some friends way back, but those friends eventually turned their backs at him.

He didn't ask questions why they left him. He didn't even bothered calling them back.

He was just standing still, eyes fixed on the ground, heart breaking, while the diminishing sound of footsteps on wooden floor flooded his ears.

He didn't want to see the faces of those who left him.