I'm Fine

part 1

Some people make fun of it, some respect others with it, and some have it. Depression is not a good thing, some people say they have it just to get attention to satisfy their ego, but they don't know how dreadful it is.

It's like a little devil sitting on your shoulder, whispering stuff into your ear that won't stop, no matter what you do. It's kind of like darkness slowly and painfully taking over you body, and all you want to do is say "I'm not fine" but you can't, you try but the darkness is too strong, it won't let you. You're forced to just say "I'm fine", and people believe you. And deep down, you want someone to look into your eyes and say "No, you're not ok" but no one will, because you've been lying to everyone for so long, that you've become convincing.

Amara is one of those people with depression, no one knows about it because she's too scared to tell anyone, she's scared that people will treat her like some delicate piece of glass that has to be handled carefully for it had been dropped too many times, and they fear that if you get dropped one more time, she'll shatter. But what they don't know is that she's used to being dropped, she's used to covering up her cracks with a fake smile.

Amara isn't one of those popular girls, she she's scared to make friends, so she just keeps quiet, and hope the day will be over soon. She used to have a lot of friends, but then high school came around and everyone separated to find their own posi. She used to have a posi of her own, but that went south 3 years ago in grade 8. One of her so called "friends" started making rumors about her, she already had a bit of depression from that same girl, that girl's name is Eden. Eden has been bullying Amara since primary, and somehow, some way, they always end up in the same class. The bullying was manageable until that incident in grade incident in grade 8.

Eden is the type of girl who takes one little rumor and makes it much worse than it already is. Someone decided that they wanted to start drama, and sadly that meant starting drama between Amara and Eden.

This took a toll on Amara, it affected her in the worst way possible. No one knows about how badly it hurt her, everyone thinks she's fine and nothing's wrong, but on the inside she was broken, and no one knew.

Amara was on her way to school, like usual she was taking the long way. She liked to walk, she finds it clears her head. She usually takes the roadway but she had extra time so she decided to go through the woods. It was early winter so there was a thin layer of snow on the ground, the kind that looks like tinsel. The trees had some snow sitting on them, making the entire woods look white. She was about half way to school when it started to snow. She got a message from the school saying that as of now school is canceled for the rest of the week. She got really happy at that because then she wouldn't have to go to school and deal with Eden. She quickly headed home for the snow was starting to pick up.

She shut her door and threw her blue backpack on her red swivel chair. She grabbed her computer and laid down on her bed, her rottweiler sitting next to her. She hadn't been on facebook for a while so she logged on to her account. Once she got on she had at least 40 missed messages, all from the same 3 people too. She opened them and started to read..

"Why are you still here? You're not wanted!"

"No one cares about your problems!"

"Just leave! No one will miss you."

At this point the tears were streaming down her face like a waterfall. Because she knew they were right. She slammed her computer shut and got up to grab a drink. Thankfully she was home alone. She wiped the ears off of her face and opened the fridge. She grabbed some milk and poured herself a glass then went back to her room. She just sat there staring at the wall. She didn't speak, she didn't eat, and she didn't come out of her room. Her friend mark was getting worried about her, so he decided to stop by for a visit. When he got there Amara was still in her room, drawing. He went in the room and seen what she was drawing, it was odd but awesome at the same time. She looked like she was crying, but she was smiling, she was giving mixed signals here.

"Hey Amara, you ok?" he asked a bit confused.

"I'm fine" she smiled. She was obviously hiding her pain from hum but he just shrugged it off.

But she was not fine.... And no one knew.