For her:
Where do I begin? It's so easy for you to try to give me advice but you don't even know what is really going trough my mind.
You live thinking that everyone is against you. You have convinced yourself that you cant trust anyone. Not even me. And i cant even imagine how you do it.
I'm not happy. Happy with my life, and I mean it. But I know it isn't fair to blame you, to try to make you guilty of everything. Because in reality you have given me everything but the truth is that I've got nothing, maybe you would think that all that I do it's to get attention. Well, who knows? Maybe that is everything I'm really asking for.
When will I have confidence? Am I going to end up like you? Because you have told me many things about your past days. That you were a very shy.
Sometimes I just wish I could just stop all the fail attempts to be happy, tof it in, to find someone, to be loved in a way that i deserve, to not mess up every fucking relationship that I've had.
When I am hurting, I just don't care about others. And my cold heart says that if I am hurting, why shouldn't them?
Life isn't fair.
Only when something that matters to society happens to us, is when we get help.
But I am screaming and one one hears me?
What is I don't belong?
You know something? I know he hates me. And he doe it for many reasons. But mainly because I try to impress you so much that it has actually worked out perfectly. But you always get the wrong meanings.
And about him. Well, I don't like him. I am afraid that I will be exactly like him. That's why i treat him that bad, I don't want to be the no one he has become. He made me like this. He is always in a bad mood, why can't I?
I am exactly like him. Will I end up without love? Why is it so hard? Why do I try so hard? Why can't someone love me?
What if i went to Montreal and when came back no one remembered me? I am no one.
I just have one real friend, and you hate her.
Then, What am I supposed to do? And about the others, they don't know me.
I am a liar.
You should never trust me.
I am not pretty.
Then, why would someone be interested?
I am sad to the core.
Him. I love him. He just used me. Maybe if I had kissed him, I would have gotten different kind of treatment. What is the point in saying "It's never gonna end"?
I just wonder how am I going to die. If i am lucky this would happen soon.
If I am lucky he would give a shit.
What is left for me?
Maybe I am writing this because I want someone to give a shit.
They just ask me, "Do you harm yourself?" As if I am going to give my biggest secret away just like that.
Why I can't be normal? Why can't I love myself? Why is it so hard for me? Because before the start began I always saw the end.
I just want to think normally.
I just want someone who cares.
I just want a movie-like story.
Were I find a guy who may not be perfect but gives a shit.
If I was brave enough this would be my suicide note. I can't even do that. I am afraid of everything.
When I told them I no longer wanted to be a doctor and instead wanted to be a writer, they laughed and now I know that they did it because I suck at writing.
I am just some weird teen making up problems so i can blame others for my overthinking.
Please no more sleep crying, no more dreams. I just want to be numb. Numb to everything. Numb to rejection, my feelings, my lonely life.
I just want something real. Something to cry for, something that matters, that makes people realize that what I feel is real.
I feel loneliness in me. You know nothing about me.
If there is a God, Why does he needs us to keep fucking failing into the same mistakes if we already know the results?
Why can't he just same me?
No one cares.
Show me how to be whole again,
I am only a crack in this castle of glass.
Spend her love until she's broke inside.
K wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you.
Look into my eyes it's where my demons hide.
It's dark inside.
When the lights fade out all the sinners come.
