In Which, My Story Begins

"Can I call you Mommy?"

     The silence is my car is thick enough to cut. Kimber shoots angry looks at me from the back seat, her angry eyes the center focus in my rear view mirror. Her hands rest on her brothers, who occupy brand new car seats, placed on either side of her. She gently strokes their heads, humming along to the radio, as they suck on pacifiers. The boys eyes are heavy with sleep, and Kimber's face shows signs of exhaustion.

     After leaving the case worker's office, we went to Walmart. It was a stressful shopping experience that was hindered by Kimber's apparent hatred of me and the boys' constant need to be held. I was only set up to house one baby and one child, so I was in need of several items. Bradley accompanied us, helping me snag a crib, a double stroller, some clothing, and food. After our Walmart trip, I stopped at the hospital to visit my mother. Kimber stood solemnly, tsking quick glances at my mother's frail form. We only stayed for a few minutes before her blood pressure began to rise, and we were ushered out.

    My thoughts die out as I pull into my driveway and put the car in park.

     "Can you help me carry your brothers in, please?" I ask, turning to face Kimber.

     She looks at me, face scrunched up with anger, and then nods. I reach into the back and unbuckle her, then turn to unbuckle the twins.

     "Please, don't hurt them." Kimber whispers, her voice so small I can hardly hear her.

     I touch her small hand with the tips of my fingers, and look into her sad, broken eyes.

     "I will never hurt you guys, Kimber."
   
     Tears form in her eyes, and she quickly rubs them away, shaking her head.

     "Okay."

     I get out and open her door, and she jumps from the car. I hand Decker to her, and she puts her hands all over, insuring that he is whole. I pull a few of the bags from the floorboard, then reach across and take Asher from his seat. I cradle the frail baby to my chest, and take one of the bags.
    
     "This way, baby girl," I say softly to Kimber.

     "Okay," she says, falling into step behind me. Her small hands hold Decker tightly against her, and she coos as he makes soft baby noises. We walk into the house and Kimber squeaks in excitement. My house is set up for small children, and Kimber's eyes are wide as she takes in all the toys around her. Although, the toys are a little young for her age, her excitement is palpable, and I wonder if she has ever even played before. She motions at me, and I crouch, setting the bag on the floor.

    "Can you......can you hold Deck?"

    I take the baby from her with my free arm, cradling him tightly against my chest. He yawns and stretches his tiny arms, then nuzzles into my chest. My heart swells as I gaze at the needy babies cradled in my arms. I am broken from my trance by Kimber pulling at my shirt.

     "Yes, baby girl?"

     "Can I play?"

     "Of course, Kimber." I smile at her and she beams.

     "Okay." She wanders off and picks up a stuffed unicorn from the floor.

     "It's so fluffy I'm going to die," she seriously, before tossing it aside and running to the Legos. I chuckle and watch Kimber stack Lego after Lego, her smile never falling from her face.

     "Kimber, I'm going to put your brothers down to sleep, and then I'm going to unload the car. You keep playing, alright?"

     "Okay," she says, not looking up from the Legos.