Lost Princess

Chapter 9: Reconnecting

Rose just couldn't deal with this pain she had never felt so afraid or hurt in her entire life. She had thought that the worst thing that could happen would be that Hawk would hate her for keeping Ariana a secret from him, but somehow him kissing her because they had a daughter was worse. For Ariana's sake she was happy he seemed ecstatic to find out about her, but for her own sake Rose wished he would have yelled at least that way they could have talked the issues out.

A small hopeful part was even trying to convince her that Hawk kissed her because he cared for her, and not because he wanted to try being together for Ariana's sake. After all she was the one who said that the kiss was because of Ariana. No! Rose shook her head trying to shake those thoughts away. There was no point hoping that that kiss, the first one Rose could remember sharing with Hawk, had meant anything more then heightened emotions. She had to stop deluding herself. Hawk had never shown interest in her, so she had to stop hoping for the impossible, especially if she didn't want to make things awkward when Hawk visited Ariana. Unrequited feelings would just make her bitter towards Hawk in the end when he couldn't return them, she had to get over him because she couldn't risk growing to hate Hawk.

So that's what Rose did, or at least tried to do. After she had calmed down enough to stop the tears, and had dried her face and did the best she could to make sure it didn't look like she had obviously been crying. She had gone back out there, not really shocked to see Hawk had run off, and spent some more time with her daughter and Snow White, only giving the older woman a nod to show her that she had told Hawk. Until she and Hawk talked about how they would tell Ariana she wasn't going to discuss it in front of her daughter. Snow White seemed to understand that because she allowed Rose to push the events of that afternoon as far back in her mind as she could.

They even introduced Ariana to the Snow White family dragon. Her daughter loved the large snow dragon and it seemed that the dragon could sense Ariana was a Snow White because he seemed pleased to meet her, that or he just really loved children. Ariana was a little disappointed when Rose wouldn't allow her to have a ride, and even though Rose trusted the Snow Dragon to protect her, Rose believed that Ariana's first dragon ride should be seen by both of her parents. She didn't want Hawk to miss anymore momentous occasions in their daughter's development he had already missed so much, although not because of any fault of his own, and the video diaries she had created wouldn't be the same as Hawk being there in person in the future.

When it was time to head back home Ariana was upset that Hawk wasn't there to say goodbye, but Snow White promised to tell him for Ariana. Using her pumpkin magic Rose created a pumpkin carriage to bring the two of them home, to Ariana's enjoyment. It wasn't like Rose hadn't used slight pumpkin magic while Ariana was growing up, but her daughter had never seen her magic at this scale considering Rose had to be careful how she used it on Earth.

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The next couple of days were spent with Rose trying her best to pretend being near Hawk didn't affect her. She was still a little nervous using his wand for her own magic, but she had grown a bit more comfortable with it now that Hawk wasn't hovering behind her. It seemed he had finally realized what personal space was.

The two of them had yet to talk about what Rose had revealed to him, and it was like the both of them were putting it on the back burner for now. Part of Rose was disappointed that he hadn't jumped at the first opportunity to confront her, either about what they were doing about their situation, or about the kiss they had shared. Yet for the most part she was relieved that she didn't have to have another emotionally charged conversation with him right away since it allowed her time to heal from the first one.  Not to mention it allowed her time to try to distance herself emotionally from Hawk, and to try and crush down the love she felt for him. Not that it was working very well she still found her breath catching every time he was near her, and her heart hadn't beaten normally in what felt like ages always going faster when he was around.